On The Ward

Being turned into a moderate Democrat wasn’t what I felt going on. I don’t even know when it happened. But here I am, sick to my heart after four years of pure insanity. You’d think it would be a swing further left. At one time I think I was there.

Because Trump should have sent a lot of people running hell bent so far left that they wound up as progressives. Oh, some did. Now they’re just extremists spewing hate, which they’re supposedly against. They don’t like Republicans. They blanket all conservatives as “demons” and say they’re all going to Hell.

Some claim to be Christians, and forget the love, forgiveness and compassion of Jesus. That’s never going to make any sense to me.

Truth is, Republicans helped get Joe Biden elected. Let me say that again:

Republicans helped Joe Biden win the election.

Republicans voted for impeachment. Republicans have spoken out against Trump. I don’t want to hear about the ones who did so too late. I dont want to hear about the last minute bailing of his staff and cabinet. You and I know that doesn’t mean anything. Just people trying too late to escape whatever reckoning it is that they fear. Because of course they know they’re likely going to get a subpoena to testify against Trump when the information comes hemorrhaging forth about corruption in the administration.  And that information will come, as people regain their senses and clear their heads when distanced from the man. The thing about a corrupt man out of power is, people aren’t afraid of him anymore.

Inside the White House, it has been a nightmare. I know for a fact that he held his staff in abject terror with screaming rants, including petty demands, wild, illegal ideas and commands, and most of all, threats. There’s no way I can describe the collective feeling they had. That doesn’t excuse the fact that some remained there, some enabled him and lied on top of it all.

What I know is, some Republicans, all along, resisted Trump and thought he was a sick man. Well, not so much thought, as they saw it and knew that there was something wrong with him.

He lacked everything they wanted him to have, needed him to have. In the end, just before the 2020 election, I asked if Trump was trying to lose, because his rhetoric grew more outrageous, his claims more evil and unhinged.

The damage was already done. Republicans are not evil and not demons. Trump had alienated too many of them and if they didnt rush to shout it aloud, they can’t be blamed; they knew it was dangerous.

Still, Trump, after four years of nightmares, received a lot of votes. You may find that scary; but what happened at the Capitol proves you correct.

Immediately following the insurrection, I read comments wherein his followers asked what Trump had said that in any way encouraged or ordered his rabid crowd that morning to do anything illegal or incriminating.

Those made my blood boil. What part of what he, Giuliani and Trump jr. had they not heard?

Then I realized that’s all part of his base’s M.O. and they knew exactly what to say. Deflect, deny and question the questioners.

It’s been appalling to watch the traitors to the United States show support for Trump, but more so in light of his obvious connection with Russia. One woman who was in the insurrection that day stole Speaker Pelosi’s laptop. A serious crime in itself, but she told a former lover that she planned to sell it to Russian intelligence. The former lover turned her in and she was arrested. That’s so egregious to me that I have no sympathy for her and hope she gets hard time. It’s insane. How do you make America great again? For five years, that answer has been to solicit Russian espionage.

We’re dealing with people whose ideas are so sick that they act out without fear of any consequences, growing so bold that I fear they have little left of any restraint.

The insanity goes from one walk of life to another, many complicit in a conspiracy that coordinated what happened. As they entered the building and shouted “Traitor! Traitor! Traitor!” they had absolutely no idea that it was they who were traitors. The cult of Trump has so skewed their decision process and their basic thoughts and beliefs that they still believe they did nothing wrong and are expecting a full pardon by their god.

On The Ward

After three suicide attempts, each one of which landed me in a psychiatric ward, I saw lots of people who weren’t particularly bad but who suffered from mild to severe mental illness. I met a successful prosecutor whose life had gotten out of hand and who was protecting herself and her job by seeking help. I remember the most dazzlingly beautiful black woman who was so intelligent that I felt unworthy to have a discussion with her. I never knew what kind of work she did but she was exquisitely articulate and every move was graceful, as if an angel had come to Earth. I dont know what troubled her to put her there, but there came a sad night when she said, “This isn’t for me,” and I knew she was turning her back on all treatment then and there. The variety of people on the ward scared her. She had worked long and hard to gain what she had, and like so many, what she saw in hospital frightened her. There’s a stigma to being diagnosed with a mental illness; once the outside world finds out, it will attack. People diagnosed bipolar lose jobs. It’s discrimination but that’s easy to cover; employers just tell a court you were terminated for another reason. Nobody can prove that isn’t the case, so there’s a career ended.

Tell a life insurance company that you’re on an antidepressant and your estimated premium costs get raised on the spot. That’s if they dont immediately close their briefcase and leave. Because they see a potential suicide or accident victim. Insurance companies dont want clients who are considered high risk. They want you to pay for insurance for years but never need it.

So I saw many walk out of the hospital, headed toward a fight I prayed they would win, doubtful as I thought that was. Some people who do need help are refused. Some are put on the streets after 72 hours with nowhere to go.

That’s sad. I’ve seen people leave and knew in my gut they would die out there.

You meet all kinds of people on the ward. Some you’ll bond with. There’s nothing to stop it, as you’re down so low you can’t even think about politics, religion or anything else. You see humanity at its most basic, and you can’t come away from it without a great respect for all people, because everyone, you realize, has their basic humanity beneath it all, and that’s a wonderful discovery to make.

I never looked down at people on the ward; most were the kindest, most gentle people I’ve ever known. Some were so wise I learned from them. There’s not much to do on the ward, so having conversations between therapy and occupational therapy is natural.

The one time I made fun of someone was when a schizophrenic woman, a hippie girl who, as hippie girls so often are, was beautiful. But her disease was prevalent and her treatment lacking; she walked around with an imaginary radio receiver she pressed into her ear. She smiled and talked silently to whoever was on the other end. When asked, by someone who meant to take the piss out of her, who she was talking to, she said, “The mothership.”

“Can I talk to them?”

“No, you have to have the blue chip. It means you have John Lennon’s blood.”

“I don’t have it?”

“No.”

“Does Mike (me) have it?”

“He does.”

I still dont know what to make of that. I’d been making fun of her along with the other guy. We’d press imaginary cellphones to our ears and say, like the AT&T guy, “Can you hear me now?”

I stopped. I was getting an education. Treat others the way you want to be treated. But sometimes you don’t. And they’ll love you anyway. By saying I had the “blue chip”, she was accepting me as a friend, an equal. That, from anyone, is special. From her, it was touching. I was accepted as part of her world.

I’ve never forgotten any of these people. I learned humility, I learned to deepen my sympathy and learned that bigotry anywhere is ugly, shuts you off from people who can enrich your life and teach you things you need to learn.

Outside

Out here, the comfort of the ward seems a cocoon I could have lingered in indefinitely. It’s scarier out here than any psych ward I’ve been in. But I know other places exist that have the worst of humanity within their walls, and I just got lucky. From my perspective, seeing the Capitol attack was a true glimpse of madness. I was seeing horrible acts committed on account of Donald Trump, but more than that, I was seeing sick people who made horrible decisions, and came away without remorse.

These people too contain a large cross section of the population like what I saw on the ward. The difference is that some, while obviously mentally compromised, have never been stripped of the trappings of their existence as it had evolved; they had every comfort to rely on walking to the Capitol Building. They had weapons, bear repellent spray, pepper spray, even a few gas masks. Some were military, police, fire fighters, business people and more. They were part of a cult which they had effortlessly given themselves to. All arrestees claim they were obeying the orders of the President of the United States.

That takes the lame argument that Trump never meant for the crowd to enter the building and throws it out. Mitch McConnell has said that the mob was provoked by Trump and that’s him throwing Trump under the bus once and for all.

The problem with analyzing human behaviour comes when one person becomes a mob and does something violent and unprecedented. How do you gauge anything they did, and what do you use as a gauge when something has never been done before?

Mob behaviour isn’t predictable beyond the observation that no action can be anticipated. What one person would never do alone now, in a mob, no longer feels taboo; anything can go.

Servile Wars

Back before there was a Roman Empire, Rome was a republic, and before Julius Caesar the republic suffered the Servile Wars which were exactly what they appear to be by the name: armed revolts by slaves which escalated into actual wars. In the third Servile War, a gladiatorial slave named Spartacus conspired with others to escape from the camp and arena. Not much is really known about him but one conclusion is legitimate. He wasn’t the sole leader and wasn’t out to free slaves. He was selective in which kinds of slaves he recruited, scorning those without tanned skin and calloused hands, as they were unworthy and ill-suited for combat, and therefore not even worth training and feeding.

He meant business, whatever that business was. There was no hope of overthrowing the republic; he had several chances after routing legions to escape to outside territories and failed to do so. In this way there is proof that his revolt wasn’t about freeing slaves, and since a complete overthrow was not realistic, to this day we cannot determine what his goals were.

Made up of slaves for the most part, we do know that former legionaries joined him; the conclusion here being that his ranks had a wide selection of races, talents and even specialists who could feed and arm his forces. What we also know is that his army was full of those with a great hatred of Rome, making the rebels only semi-disciplined and likely to ultimately fail.

On the other side, Rome was fighting a frontier war in Spain and was not yet at the height of its military power.

Still, their territory was growing and their legions well disciplined, well trained, well equipped and formidable. The end result was always in Rome’s favor. There isn’t much dissent among contemporary and modern historians. The failure of Spartacus and his co-leaders to take advantage of an escape route sealed the fate of the entire force.

The final battle soaked the field in blood, and the body of Spartacus was not found. The rebel survivors, numbering six thousand, were crucified on the side of the road, all the way from Capua to Rome. The famous film starring Kirk Douglass ends with Spartacus on a cross. Part of that scene was edited out before wide theatrical release and I’m unaware if it was ever restored; nonetheless it’s full of inaccuracies. The big wooden rigs used as crosses are wrong. Rome would never waste resources like wood on crosses. Those consisted of one upright (stipes crucis) and the cross beam (patibulum). The very public display was, as with all crucifixions, meant to serve as a warning, a deterrent to further rebellion and crime against Rome. Crucifixion became known as “a slave’s death”, and by the time of Christ no Roman citizens were ever crucified. They could choose other methods considered more merciful, such as by spear, archers and others.

The cross section of the army of Spartacus included barbarians and even soldiers of Rome. Before it was over there were likely Roman citizens included; as word of the successes of the rebels spread, it’s fairly obvious that people romanticized the war and the rebels. This is human nature; some guesses here are fairly safe to make.

Spartacus was not a saviour of slaves. He led them instead to slaughter and very likely lay among the dead of the final battle. For that I use the description of many a battlefield of antiquity; fields were covered with blood, severed limbs and internal organs. Faces were disfigured by blunt force, shield thrusts, swords and even cavalry. It is not easy today for most to imagine such carnage being done by close quarters combat, but rest assured, it was always a frightful scene. Men were known to go mad before battle concluded, and post-battle more so.

When all is considered, then, the likelihood that Trump followers will grow in number is real. It is likely too, that should that happen, it will end in bloodshed, with survivors being drastically punished.

Conclusion

It is historical fact that few wars were ever started by a force made up of one “pure” race. Even the nazis were mutts and the Aryan myth was a known lie by Hitler and his propaganda ministry. Always, there is a cross-section of various peoples. By present day, the Native American tribes aren’t usually made up of any one bloodline. Tribes were routinely assimilated by others as settlers began to truly decimate their numbers.

This lends no conclusive information to anything, just that almost every final battle joined has opposing forces comprised diversely. The MAGA rebellion will not achieve its goal. It is not cohesive despite the fact that the siege on the Capitol was somewhat coordinated via websites and social media. They have no prospect of forming any hierarchy and voting for commanders. They lack the basics that even Spartacus had. Sure, veterans are in there, police as well, but in the end, should they insist on further insurrection, it will not end well for them. History speaks to those willing to listen. History strikes down all who are not.

So, tonight, take heart. No matter what you fear, don’t be troubled. Pray for our new president and vice president, our country and our neighbors. I greet any neighbor or stranger without screening them for their political beliefs. It’s time we all do that while keeping in mind, if you hear something, say something. Never worry that law enforcement will blow you off. What you have to say is what they’re there for.

Most of all, as I say often, be good to yourselves. This is the eve of a day that signals the beginning of clarity and order. Be hopeful and have faith. Worry will only hurt you. And there has been enough hurt.