The Consumers vs Hanes vs Ubisoft Games
Here’s something that made me laugh out loud. It’s a trend in men’s underwear, did you know that? It’s real: an inner pocket for your–I mean men’s–junk. Some brands hold the whole package and others the testicles only. The TV ad for the Hanes brand is a bit on the side of stereotypical; a man who some would judge must be gay wears the product and rides a mechanical bull. I’m sorry, but that’s funny.
Want to know why it’s so funny to me?
As you know, I spent a lot of time on the Playstation 4 game Assassin’s Creed Odyssey. In the game, which starts just before the Peloponnesian War in 431 BCE, historical figures are depicted with somewhat amusing lines and voice acting. Of them all, Alkibiates, a real statesman from Athens and the Delian League, gets the most comical and suggestive treatment. He’s a hedonist, a bisexual, always hinting that Socrates could use his mouth for better things than oratory.
And he resembles the guy in the Hanes ad, whose preoccupation with himself is part of the comedy in the commercial. Here’s a cut scene from the quest wherein Kassandra must escort the drunken contender for Sparta to the Olympic games.
And since Odyssey was released in 2017-2018, Madison Avenue has had plenty of time to see this game and play it. If there’s a coincidence between the two, then it’s one of the most uncanny I’ve ever seen.
To add to the comedic coincidence, the name of the contender for Sparta is “Testikles,” and now you see why I question so much. Did someone do this on purpose?
By the way: Alkibiates defected to Sparta. The real one may have been quite the coward. Or, he saw what Athens was doing to its own allies and rejected the Delian League, which derived its name from its capital, the island of Delos.
C130 Rolling Down The Strip
Two Army Airborne soldiers were found dead on Fort Bragg Army base and the CID believed at the time that they were involved in street drugs.
Fort Bragg North Carolina is home to the Airborne Rangers and the Green Beret Special Forces. Those are the most demanding branches of the U.S. Army, training and placing elite troops. The pressures and demands are high. Although no tox screens had come back before I read the article, I can’t put forth a guess as to what drug or which combination of drugs killed them. Overdose of uppers for performance or downers to sleep will kill you. And self-dosing always increases.
After the master sergeant there was arrested for trafficking cocaine, I should have anticipated something like this. If their connection was cut, the common users would go to the streets and that’s suicidal. We mourn for the dead, but are left with lingering and frightening questions. Questions that we fear answers to because more young men will surely have to die first.
Meanwhile In India, This:
I don’t know what the hell happened here. Did brain damage affect every member of two households beside each other? Did mental illness affect two families simultaneously?
Or did the two people in this story just manage the impossible for an entire decade?
You tell me. Oh, it takes place in India, but it could happen anywhere, so forget race. Two young people whose religious backgrounds were different decided that they had to be in love. So much so, that the girl moved in with her lover next door, and nobody saw her again for a decade. She even evaded his family by slipping through her window for bathroom breaks. To entertain herself she watched a small TV connected with headphones.
Her lover managed to keep his spare bedroom locked and became bellicose with anyone who asked him why.
Yet no one else thought this behavior exceptional enough to insist the door be unlocked, or to demand that he seek professional help. And the police department dropped the ball when investigators failed to check out the next door neighbors after the girl went missing. It’s like they gave up, for pity’s sake.
Until next time, if you think something is a coincidence, it probably…isn’t.
If you’re serving in the armed forces and you have a drug problem, you don’t want to be arrested, kicked out or wind up dead, and there’s no reason why you should. Here’s a place to start looking for help, and know this: there’s no shame or dishonor in asking for help. It’s quite the opposite. Save yourself and your career. Hit the link, make the call and utilize your chain of command. Be honorable. You need help. Get it.
One last thing: no matter what country you live in, pay attention to your next-door neighbors. Please. And buy some binoculars, a parabolic microphone, maybe a thermal camera.
What the hell is going on?
Memoirs of an American Asshole 