The Mandela Effect. You’ve heard of it, right? If not, it works like this:

Nelson Mandela survived prison in South Africa. But there are some who would swear that he died in prison.

Some recall an American peanut butter by the brand name of “Jiffy”, but in truth, there was no such thing. It was always “Jif”. I even got the corrected spelling wrong, initially using two “Fs”. I had to look it up to make sure.

One of the more famous examples is the spelling of the name in the children’s book series “The Berenstain Bears”. Some swear until red in the face that it is “Berenstein” Bears, and when I read the books to my children, I saw it and pronounced it “Bernstein”.

In fact, I’m dyslexic, and the longer the name, the better chance I have of seeing it wrong. However, reading was my most reliable way to escape real life growing up. Early on, it did not matter to me if it was from another country, translated into English. I wanted a deep, engrossing experience that would put the tears, torture and rape behind me. No bullies, no beatings, interrogations, no.

But I would also pick up nonfiction, and that’s where I ran into trouble, mostly with dates and names. Especially English elaborations of Greek mythology. Those names would silently slide past as I read, becoming a quick, garbled monster made up mostly of vowels and little else.

Hippocrates, the famous ancient Greek physician, can have his name pronounced two ways. Not until I played Assassin’s Creed Odyssey would I get it right. To make It easier on players, the names were spelled with a k in place of a c, so Hercules becomes the proper Herakles. Socrates becomes Sokrates, pronounced so-CRAT-ees.

And now that I’ve learned that little lesson, I also wish I could travel to the mainland and Greek Islands. So much beauty, such wonderful people, and ages of rich history. Funny, what a game can teach you.

Motion pictures can also help correct our misremembered experiences. Where you might think something was in a particular film, it really wasn’t. Remember North by Northwest? Really, you think so? OK. But some people remember different lead actresses. And what was the theme song of the last version of TVs Lassie?

If you go so far back, you can see that memory is a very peculiar thing, and sometimes we get it wrong.

My Search For What Never Existed, But Saw Anyway

Some time ago….call it the early 2000s, I saw a movie. It was about two boys, both invisible to other students at, I want to say, a college. So, freshman year. One was diminutive in stature, one tall and thin. They became friends, each looking to the other for the acceptance that they could not get from others. The bond became strong. I don’t remember much, but the taller one gets a girlfriend, becomes popular, and leaves his best friend alone. Eventually he is dared to prank or otherwise do the ultimate betrayal to his friend, and later finds out that his mistreatment had consequences. The smaller guy dies. Whether he was beaten, had a terminal illness, or killed himself I can’t remember. There are several times when the song “One of Us” plays, especially at the end. The song, covered by Joan Osborne, went on to become the running theme song of the series Joan of Arcadia.

My problem is, I can’t find any sign of this movie. I don’t even know if it was a movie. It could have been a TV show pilot or episode. And I can’t remember if God actually appears in it. My impression at the time was dark; as if God was represented by the smaller of the friends, and that the whole point of the show was a lesson in friendship and betrayal.

I’ve searched for pop culture media with that song in it, I’ve searched for movies with the theme of two boys bonding and one is betrayed. The very first search comes up with Close, a 2022 French film with much the same theme, but the actors look nothing like the ones I saw, and the production was American, not French, and I saw it long before 2022. More than a decade before.

Question: what exactly did I see, when was it, and why can’t I find it? Was it a miniseries, a pilot, a show’s standalone episode, or a movie? I know I did see it, because it was a really tragic story and I cried. How could I have seen it if there is no reference to it in any search results? Or is the Mandela Effect a real phenomenon, wherein realities shift at random, or is it some science fiction mess like getting switched with another me in a parallel universe?

I’m uncomfortable with things that make me question reality, but I’m not the first to be in this position, and I won’t be the last. Maybe, next time, it will be you.