It’s poison for everyone
A redditor I was encouraging was crestfallen to go to my profile and see porn subreddits I followed.
But I don’t judge people based on what they watch, or their past. I was malicious about Marjorie Taylor Greene, but she broke so fiercely from Trump that I admire her for her change and the courage it took to do it.
And people can change. I was judged harshly for my past, and I fell off a pedestal right when I had succeeded in gaining some level of trust.
I just wanted to help her.
Possible Triggers Ahead
While my earliest posts here honestly said that I liked nude models, that had changed.
I began noticing things that I had missed before, especially brands.
These are sometimes a small tattoo with a dragon, an Asian letter, or something similar. Traffickers don’t want to mark up the merchandise.
But when people caught on, they changed those brands. They began to appear as soldering iron burns. Branded like cattle.
Now in most of these professional shoots, the marks, scars from burns, anyway, can be airbrushed out. Sometimes they do that but since the average model must go to different studios, that’s an ownership reminder. They may appear with different names on different sites, and that’s to avoid whatever “copyright” an owner has. Besides being trafficked, there’s worse. Models working for, say, MetArt, are, as claimed by company staff, treated “like family.”
It’s porn! Nobody is treated like family.
And here’s why. Those models you think are so beautiful can be found doing more than nude photo sessions on other sites; and yes, I mean hardcore porn. And are they willing?
Absolutely not. It’s for the money.
Before you jump the gun, let me say straight up: the models do not make much money. Why not? Glad you asked. The answer is, agents. If you don’t have an agent, you don’t work, just like in the literature and acting in major theatrical productions. In porn, however, they never see a payday that’s particularly happy; agents keep it and give actresses and models so little money that many live together, sometimes four to a flat.
And what, you ask, happens to them when they’re too old to pose or act?
Some become recruiters and trainers. Trainers have the models insert huge dildos to stretch them out, or, as one model put it, “to open you up.”
That … is horrible. But what of the others? Well, their owners put them on the streets. I read one article about a woman who found herself on the outskirts of Jerusalem, hustling tricks for money that barely kept them fed. In some Middle Eastern countries, it’s a death sentence. They are murdered, tortured and their families don’t even know where they are.
Models don’t just get paid next to nothing, they’re also conditioned to forget family and friends and be dependent on their handlers. In the early years of this century, two women published the results of a study. Back when the Internet was very young, newspapers and magazines in places like Ukraine had ads for models, and the parents couldn’t feed the older children so…there was no choice and no other work in the post-Soviet territory. Once in the “system,” they never saw their families again. The parents were indifferent, and the girls eaten alive by criminal networks.
And, like my post on Ancient Greece and its mythology, this is the way the world treats women. Always has, with a few exceptions along the way.
Models are objectified by porn consumers which, sadly, is composed of men, but also women and unsupervised children. Some couples can’t get randy without porn. Normal sex becomes impossible. An article in Cosmopolitan encouraged couples to watch porn together. That infuriated me; that’s how marriages die.
This happened to me; I was addicted and unable to function without it. And I’m not alone.
It began for me around age 8 or 9. I was already being sexually abused but then my youngest sister and I were shown 8 mm porn movies. One was titled “Mr. Fix It,” and you can guess what that was about, but I can’t forget it. But I liked it. It helped me fantasize during my “training sessions” so I’d cope with what was being done to me.
It began a lifelong obsession and addiction to porn, and yes, I’m embarrassed and ashamed to sit here and tell you this.
By the time I was an adult, away from my parents, I was dependent; I had to have it even to masturbate.
So there we have it: a porn paradox. The women were objectified and consumers couldn’t get enough.
Since then, I’ve seen the porn industry get powerful, going from Playboy to Hustler to VHS movies, to internet porn, where one can see everything.
One thing the magazines didn’t do was show teens. That’s changed now.
Haven’t you wondered why the cell phone became a tool for selfies, showing everything from new fashion to bikinis to full nudity and even sex acts?
The problem of teens, legal or not, sexting a boyfriend, and overnight it was all over the Internet, was addressed by threats to charge the senders and recipients alike with distributing child pornography. I’ve never heard anything about that since. And let’s make no mistakes here: if not for a narrow set of circumstances, Jeffrey Epstein would still be alive and doing business right now, and he had compromised men and women all over the world. He delivered their fantasies and they paid up.
The government of the United States has, on Trump’s orders, seriously damaged the case of the “Epstein files,” something so dark and evil that leaders of other countries are using it against him. This is not rhetoric, it’s telling the truth. Iran’s message post- the beginning of U.S. hostilities and war crimes, is that the Trump administration is made up of child rapists. They come right out and call him a pedophile.
I have the distinct impression that he will do everything in his power to make them pay.
Human trafficking is a global plague. The children suffer so much that even I, with my background, can’t fathom the depths of. I know what happens, but the deep trauma it causes is unimaginable. My PTSD has only gotten worse over time. I’m haunted by nightmares, fast flashes of memories I thought were gone, and dissociation, which means “spacing out” in front of others, when I’m really somewhere back in 1967 or 1970. It’s a living hell.
Yet through all of it, I believed in God, His Son Jesus (really Yeshua), and I haven’t stopped. My faith remained even when I was soaked in sin.
This Easter Sunday, I write out of my concern for the souls of others. Porn and sex outside of marriage are things Christ warned against, but He didn’t mention porn per se, He spoke of lust. He said that if you look upon another with lust, you have already sinned in your heart. Meaning your thoughts, desires and willingness to pursue that person. He said if an eye causes you to sin, best that you pluck it out and not repeat that sin; on Judgement Day, you would otherwise fare no better than the worst of sinners.
I don’t wish eternity in Hell on anyone. You have to sin yourself by hating someone before wishing for a thing like that.
I was going to list details about every main category of porn known to me, but I can’t. It’s too dark. It’s even disgusting.
However, here are a few that you should be aware of:
Legal Teens
This genre tells you that it’s a fine line you’re walking. Are the models really legal?
In mainstream porn, probably, but they appeal to users because they look younger than 18. One model who got out of the trap told of how she was turned down at her first “casting” session. Told that she didn’t look young enough, she decided to lose weight. I know who this model is, and I believe her. She’s painfully thin in her studio shoots, and her face is that of a 16 year-old. It worked.
What she and so many other models did not know was what was ahead: hardcore. Videos and photos in some of the most painful to watch shit I’ve ever seen. Men with enormous “dimensions” let them know why they had to pose nude with huge phalluses to open them up.
Obviously they’re drugged or have been forced to imbibe wine or liquor, and it would show in their pupils but careful editing and airbrushed pictures conceal those signs. They’re actresses and have no choice but to act as if they’re enjoying themselves. Sometimes this might be real, but I’ve known for a long time that the sometimes thing is not genuine.
Lesbian
This is something even softcore models must face. It was once rare for two models to pose together and actually have contact. These days the pair are forced to do things that at least one of them clearly can’t hide her disliking of. Not every woman is bisexual or lesbian, but men believe otherwise. This is a top category on most porn sites.
Amateur
I realize that this covers every other sub-category from straight, group, interracial, lesbian, gay, and uh, worse.
This category is the most disgusting of all. White women are urged by their insecure husbands to have sex with black men. I’ve seen husbands walk out in the middle of it. They worked hard convincing their wives to do it, to actually desire it, then they can’t handle it.
Porn does not enhance a marriage. It ends it. Porn damages normal sexuality and devours the soul. Porn is a trap, becomes an addiction and an obsession, and ruins everything it touches, because a user is never satisfied, always needs more kink, more humiliation of women and it’s endless.
But Where Can The Addict Find Help?
There is no known help available. While drug addicts and alcoholics have some help available, it’s being taken away by the current administration. Even “frontline” mental healthcare has been demolished. I don’t even know what that means, but I take it that crisis intervention went first. Cops will have nobody to help in situations where field specialists can arrive to calm subjects down. Otherwise police may taze or shoot someone who never asked to be mentally ill and should have been given help.
In porn addicts there are targets highly sought after by “life coaches.”. These take your money and feed you platitudes and “positive” but empty activities like yoga or chanting or whatever. And you pay. And pay. And you end up back where you started, but poorer now.
No End in Sight
The Epstein network is still active. It doesn’t work the way you may think: does the arrest or assassination of a gang leader or mob boss mean the rest of a crime faction just stops?
No, and the New York crime families are still operating at as low a profile level as they can, but with each passing month, in chaotic times, all types of organized crime will see new opportunities and branch out.
Epstein died, and his contacts and established interests kept going without him. Ghislane Maxwell got transferred to Camp Cupcake, a consideration to keep her quiet. A full pardon has very likely been discussed in Washington, where Trump has gathered a series of men and women who consistently lie for him, but some on his periphery have been busted for, no less, sex with children and child pornography.
Look, I get it. You start out slowly. You think a bit of arousal is a good thing. Before you know it, though, you’re so deep in a septic pit that it’s next to impossible to climb out. Generations have bought Playboy and seemed fine. But we’re they? The old joke was, “I just read the articles.”
But in all fairness, those articles were really good, informative and contained things no newspaper would dare print. Political news that even the Washington Post shied away from. And the magazine wasn’t easy to publish in. The guidelines were strict, surprisingly so for the type of periodical it was. And the interviews were awesome. One with Stephen King was unforgettable.
And yet, the photos were what made me want more.
And I found more.
And then more, and more. Until I finally went into a rabbit hole and couldn’t get out. It’s no Wonderland down there; it is some of the worst of humanity showcased for everyone to see on demand.
Now, I’m not doing this because of one incident on Reddit. I’m not going to Reddit ever again. For anything.
The truth is that I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time. I want to help people. I needed to establish that pornography encourages trafficking, sexual abuse and more. It destroys marriages, and I recommend a prenup agreement that both partners will never use porn. If one breaks that agreement, they pay for it.
Monitor your children when they’re online. Put the computer in a common area, not a bedroom. Keep them safe from predators. Keep them from vanishing without a trace. This world is full of evil. You can’t change that. But you can fight back in self defense.
Sadly, I can’t tell you how to escape the porn trap. It’s an individual thing and there’s no cure for anything like this. I advise calling on God to help. After that, call on Him every day. This is your quality of life and the destination of your soul we’re talking about.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” John 3:16
A Happy and healthy Easter to you all. May God bless.
Memoirs of an American Asshole 