Sophia Urista fronts the band Brass Against, and if you don’t know, that’s a metal group that covers the songs of other metal bands. I don’t know what the name Brass Against means and I’m not going to look it up. Except for early metal, mostly the 70s, I hate metal. What do I need with loud, de-tuned bass guitars and people screaming instead of singing?

Anyway, I got something in my email for local news that, down in Rockville, at some festival last night (12 November), She pissed on some guy’s face and, no. You didn’t misread that link. If you click it, be warned, it has a video of the incident.

Weirder still, she kept singing without missing a beat. No, I realize that comparing it to Ozzy biting off a bat’s head would be wrong. Lots of bizarre things happen onstage at rock and hip hop shows. But it seems as if, lately, the world is crazier than the way I remember it being. That’s probably just me. A problem with perception? Memory?

On Twitter a follower asked, “Did the guy know he was gonna be pissed on?”

The response was yes, that the stunt was prearranged.

Look. I’m no choir boy. I have my vices. And I don’t usually shame or throw throw shade on folks who have different tastes, but a long time ago I decided that certain things were okay in public, and certain things just shouldn’t happen. I count on people to act like they have some limits, but when they don’t, I really don’t talk about it. Not unless people are hurt or killed, and that will get me talking.

So what is this, this– whatever thing last night, and why did I feel the need to express just a touch of shock? Because, you see, I no longer shock easily. I don’t know why I’m writing this. I’m only certain of one thing.

It’s stupid and shouldn’t have happened like that. If it was really prearranged, why not invite dude backstage after the show? Golden showers have been around ever since people discovered that it was actually possible to piss on another person. Which, by my reckoning, was probably way before bear and deer skins were in fashion and people found out that hunting Wooly Mammoth was legal and you didn’t need a license for it.

I see from the article that the band has been invited to open for the metal band Tool on its European tour. Great. Maybe the lady can redeem herself by pissing on Alexander Lukashenko. Now that is something I would like to read about. Lukashenko is what they call “a dick”. And yet, I remember that another dictator once lived who liked golden showers. But when he became Chancellor, he ordered the girl who did the pissing murdered so she couldn’t tell anyone else that her uncle Adolf used to like her to piss all over him. Because his rallies would have lost something, you know? So maybe not go near Lukashenko after all.

When all else is distilled to base elements, what we have here is really sad. The band Brass Against posted, then deleted an apology on Twitter. What’s sad is, that is typical on Twitter. Apologies are made, then withdrawn, as if to state, “Sorry, not sorry, so fuck you.”

Is it me, or do I seem less like an asshole now, considering shit like this?

Nah. I’ll always be an asshole. But it’s okay. God has pity on assholes like me. And that’s good because now, I’m gonna look like an asshole anyway, writing a stupid-ass post like this.

By way of an apology for having wasted your time, here, have a drop of the good stuff before you go: