What bores you?

Of all the stupid, juvenile, and useless things in the world, some AI programmed by some kid with acne who still lives in mommy’s basement and whose idea of fun is pitching a pup tent and sitting in it while playing Call of Duty asks this shit.

Said programmer probably never learned that falling asleep with a Tootsie Roll pop in his mouth is a no-win situation, and after pulling his hair off the pillow before climbing the steps to the shower still has the fucking thing stuck in his hair, but doesn’t know it yet. He-and the world-may never know.

Stupid, looney, goofy, and parochial goddamn questions are anathema to everyone here, but some fail to see it and instead readily answer with self-indulgent bullshit, never stopping to think even once that it’s going to be used against them. The more juvenile and insulting these prompts get, the more salacious and yet petty and personal, the faster they spill their guts.

How did they answer that last prompt? You know, the one about who are their favorite people to be around?

I answered honestly and didn’t risk hurting anyone’s feelings. The more isolated I become, the better. Why hurt anyone when life’s got so much more to offer? Did anyone answer that question with names or descriptions of their friends that can’t possibly point to anyone but specific people? That was stupid. But the question was leading, and that’s a dirty typical goddamn internet trick. Now those people are fucked. Friends not named or described on their list of favorites are hurt. It’s a hollowness and special kind of pain, being left out. And don’t even think that right now, there’s not more than one idiot plotting revenge for it. No, I’m not joking. People get killed that way. They hurt so bad that the person who left them out is going to suffer and could end up dead. Shit happens all the time, and I’ve seen it happen.

This is the problem with Toosie Roll Pop-sucking programmers. They stir the pot and watch the results on the news. Too much or too little, and the AI gets stupid. There was no right answer to that question. There was no reason to answer at all. The people who matter to you already know it. You’ve shown it, and you’ve said it, even if you didn’t use words. Look, it doesn’t mean much to me. If you haven’t already demonstrated your affection to your secret favorites, whether that affection be on a professional or personal level, do it. Do it now. Say something. Tell them they’re appreciated. Show that you’ve got their back. And don’t ever leave them out. That hurts. Treat all others with equal respect and kindness. They may just earn it, so give them a chance to.

Of course, I’ve failed to mention that people who do harm after being excluded or even inferring that you’ve excluded them are at least insecure, at most very sick, and need help that you can never give. You have to find a way to gracefully leave them behind. They are poison. Toxic and deadly.

And don’t answer these stupid, useless, insolent questions. You’re a writer. Write.

And to the Tootsie Roll Pop-Pop-Sucking Kid, I know you’ll ride again. Do whatever you want. Leave me alone.