Sometime in the 1990s, a vessel in the Pacific must have hit a storm head-on. The deck was stacked with containers, which, when offloaded at their port of call, would be lifted by giant gantry cranes. Then a trucker would come to take the cargo inside to its destination. A chassis would be loaded and locked in place with it, making it a full tractor-trailer rig.

Something happened to one of those containers before the huge ship made port. Although these merchant ships have sturdy locking devices which enable them to carry containers stacked almost as tall as the bridge, accidents do happen. And this container fell overboard. I swear, it really happens.

However, it was to be some time before the world found out what was inside this particular container.

Once the strong and weak alike oceanic currents had taken over, rubber ducks were found on beaches or as floating flocks in weird places. Oceanic scientists actively looked for them; this was a perfect opportunity to study currents.

But some people thought it was spooky. At first, beachcombers and tourists knew nothing of the lost container. Therefore, yes. Spooky.

The mystery of the shoes, some with feet still in them, has still not been adequately explained even though articles exist which claim it has. They wash up on Canadian beaches and have caused horror, consternation and theories that range from a serial killer to gang violence and extraterrestrials being responsible.

But by far the creepiest discovery in recent years is the dolls and doll parts washing ashore in Texas on the southern coast between Padre and Matagorda islands. And the weirdest part is that the head of a sex doll, mouth round and wide open but filled with mud or sea creatures is among the baby dolls.

The stretch of coast in question is long, with Padre Island being the southernmost and Corpus Christi between. The area claims prime beaches but this is enough to scare people with a fear of dolls, like myself, into heading for the northern beaches.

Look. Let’s just face it: if you aren’t creeped out by dolls, you are in the minority here. Most people won’t admit to being scared of them, but it’s a real thing. There’s even a name for it: pediophobia.

Some dolls have barnacles and other things attached. All are creepy, having been in the water for some time, then coming ashore like something in a bad movie.

The Mission-Aransas National Estuarine Research Reserve occasionally auctions the dolls off, but that’s truly a sick thing to do. Comedian John Oliver wants to buy them and burn them. I agree.

But I differ slightly on the method and the reason for it. I think they should be hauled up in a net and dropped into an active volcano by a C-130.

To appease whatever god Texas has offended because Ted Cruz is still in office.