Fifty Years Ago: The Prelude To A Bush War You Never Heard Of

For Kid

Thanks for reminding me.

Dick Snider was a cop with a good heart. Well, that was back then. Today cops get more negative press than ever, and YouTube videos don’t always help much.

In Arkansas, fleeing from the State Police in a car can easily end up in your death. Usually it just ends with a wrecked stolen car and a Walmart shoplifter crawling out from under something that doesn’t even resemble a car, but used to, the driver bruised, cut or worse, but the severity of the crime and the condition of the driver make no difference; they could have a severed arm and they would still be cuffed.

If it appears by YouTube videos that no cop in the ASP has a heart, then it must be true.

Of course it isn’t, but it’s unfair how judgements can be made with so few facts. And perhaps I have seen unjustified shootings, and maybe a PIT maneuver was done wrong, resulting in the fleeing driver’s death plus collateral damage, even involving critical wounds to innocent civilians. That doesn’t make police officers evil. It makes them human. Only once did I learn of an officer being criminally charged in a pursuit, and I don’t know what happened to him.

Cops go through things no video can truly convey to a viewer the lifelong trauma that results. You see it, but you weren’t there. You felt only what any other observer did. That’s a happy circumstance for you and me, but the officer or trooper will, should they survive, recover from wounds, get cleared to return to duty, or leave the force, carry nightmares, both waking and not, until the day they die.

In 1975, there were things going on that some cops knew about, but were either indifferent to or helpless to stop.

Officially, there is no source for crime statistics, but what you hear or read about today is a very old human crisis.

Back then, people in Mexico heard stories of plenty in the land of “El Norte,” and poverty stimulates dreams into motivation. The United States had work. Places to live for those who worked hard. It had food, lots of it, and more. Some tried to legally immigrate and some, most perhaps, were turned away.

Thus we have illegal crossings, and what most Americans got to know about it was that the crossers were just criminals.

Aside from the attempt to cross the border illegally, there were very few criminals. But before they could get to the United States, they faced dangers far worse than deportation or prosecution.

The U.S. and Mexico border is about 2,000 miles of land and sea, and every mile of that border has a different danger to challenge even the most determined soul.

There are vast amounts of desert, some mountains, even sea and rivers to be reckoned with. From Sonora, it may seem like there are plenty of places to cross, but many chose the route across Baja into San Diego.

There were reasons for this. One was that the lands south of San Diego were too treacherous for the federales, bringing up the second reason, which was the aid of polleros, or coyotes, men who would “guide” border crossers to their destination, which invariably meant “Los,” or Los Angeles, via San Diego.

That’s where a San Diego Police Department lieutenant named Dick Snider comes in. He witnessed multiple crimes against women and children and was helpless to do anything to stop them. Sometimes lying on a hill, looking out over the canyons south of the city, he used binoculars and saw the guides beat, rob, and abandon those who paid them, usually with their last pennies.

For the record, a Mexican under a guide was called a pollo, which translates as a “chicken,” because various trucks were often used in border crossings. But the polleros weren’t always in trucks and some never really planned on doing what they were paid for.

Snider was morally offended by what he saw. He was outraged to the point where he couldn’t keep silent and asked for permission from his supervisors to take action. When he finally got it in 1976, a task force was created and he did the initial recruiting: all officers had to be of Latino descent. The members would be trained in military combat tactics and clothed in camouflage uniforms.

That was a good idea followed by a bad one.

The idea of the task force was sound. The choice of clothing failed.

As the members were training, Dick Snider was frustrated, but hopeful that the men chosen would make a difference.

The result was the “Border Area Robbery Force,” which came to be known only by its acronym, “BARF”, and from October 1976 to 1978, the squad learned some good and some awful things.

First, the canyon was dark. Getting one’s night vision was a process, and at first the bad guys were at an advantage. Working at night, they were able to see targets but on their approach, their camouflage chased the banditos away before BARF could engage them.

Lesson learned, they became exactly what they were up against. Their hair grew. They had unshaven faces. They bought clothes from secondhand shops like those worn by the pollos. They went out, sometimes without bathing, and successfully infiltrated the hapless pollos and made history.

But there had to be rules, and the sergeant, Manny Lopez, decided that among the innocent people and the bandits, there in the darkness, the frantic scramble to tell which was a bandit and which was a pollo was a  dangerous time. A time that offered nothing but danger. He needed a way to communicate to his men who the targets were and when to act.

Lopez, who could terrify his own men when one of his eyebrows climbed his forehead and became a question mark, would say, ¿Sabes que? That was a signal to get ready, because something was about to go down. The eyebrow was a sign that his temper had maxed.

Nerves screwed tight, adrenaline flowing, they waited. The codeword to take action was ironic: “¡BARF!”

The bandits did not, at first, stand a chance. Unprepared for pollos who carried guns and actually fired them was terrifying. It was like seeing men turn into werewolves, it was that fantastic.

Arrests were made. Shootings, then full-blown firefights occurred. Three of the squad sustained gunshot wounds.

Eventually, as they squatted in the darkness, submissive, as pollos did, they were approached directly by the polleros who would try to rob them. There were initial negotiations concerning taking them to Los, but they knew it was a setup. Manny would say, “¿Sabes que?” And then “BARF!” and all hell would break loose.

It was inevitable then, that the robbers would change tactics. One night one of them was asked for a “pisto” or money,  and the barfer replied by answering with a gesture, a name for a drink, which was incorrect; pisto is from south of Mexico. The bandit was asking for money, and now he was suspicious. The bandit wasn’t stupid.

Sometimes it depends on location as to the meaning of a Spanish word. For example, pollo can mean a cute person or a child, which in the latter case would change from pollo to polla depending on gender, the one ending in a being feminine. This is the same as La or El, as in la leche being feminine because it is milk, or El GordoThe fat man.

The man who caught the mistake of the pisto was not stupid, and certainly not a genius. He just happened to know the difference.

One night, a terrible night, two Tijuana cops stood at the border fence, then came through. They were known to drag canyon crawlers back to their side of the fence, but on this night, they held Lopez in an armed standoff. One of the Mexican officers fired.

What happened next was an outrageous firefight between hundreds of Tijuana officers and any backup the BARF team called in.

It caused an international incident, but that went semi-resolved and BARF kept doing what it did.

But one cannot endure the darkness, rattlesnakes, loose rocks and gunfire without a dear price. Off duty, they drank. Hard. They didn’t go home. Lopez warned them that they had to go home.

Some had affairs. And later, when Joe Wambaugh, a bestselling author who had written books like The Blue Night, The Onion Field and The Choirboys began to interview the now-disbanded BARF members, he violated a rule that was inviolable amongst brother officers. He wrote about the affairs and drinking. When his book Lines and Shadows was published, it chronicled everything he knew. And it was a bestseller. It’s a genuinely great read and I recommend it, but the BARFers hated it and him. Carlos Chacon swore he never read the entire book, and said clearly in an interview that Wambaugh wasn’t out there, and if he had been, he would have been beaten to a pulp. Marriages broke up because of him.

Initially, the BARF members hated the book.

Wambaugh stated that when he interviewed the men, it was obvious that they were suffering from PTSD. They had faced shadows moving in the canyons, but had not faced the shadows that chased their souls in nightmares.

In time, most of the Border Area Robbery Force took pride in the book. It proved that they had made a difference when no one else could or would. In places east of that canyon, there were no agents or officers concerned about the plight of the pollos.

Today, they’re legends who Wambaugh called “the last of the gunslingers.”

One night…and I warn you, this is disturbing and was all too common, the squad stopped the rape of a minor who was with her family. Women were often sexually assaulted along with their children. Men who lived all their lives by the code of machismo were helpless before men with guns. They were shot or they saw their family hurt. Everyone got hurt. On this particular night, the male pollos did not help Rosetta, or her daughter, Esther. One ran. The others squatted in terror. That’s until a vicious fight broke out between Manny Lopez, a Border Patrol agent, and a la migra, or immigration officer. The mother and daughter were saved. Rosetta cried and kissed Manny’s hand, and thanked God for a miracle. She never stopped believing that a miracle had happened because just as she finished demanding that God has to save her daughter, Lopez appeared.

One of the would-be rapists was arrested; the rest made it back to Tijuana.

Their adventures would get worse, much worse. They maintained that whatever they went through, it was worth it. In 1978, police chief Kolender decided that it was dangerous and that the banditos had become hip to the BARF squad’s tactics. There was a definite decline in crime, but what’s more is, the robbers were out there in the dark now, waiting for them. It was over for BARF.

Of course, the pollos kept coming, and as soon as everyone guessed that they were gone, crime went sharply up.

But for a moment, just a small amount of time, they had heroes who saved them. All because one man, a lieutenant who was a gringo, wore his heart on his sleeve and sold the conviction that the pollos were human beings who deserved protection. Dignity. Human rights. People who Destiny had no right to kill.

The men were brave, there’s no doubt about it. They also cared about the people being robbed and violated just as much as Dick Snider cared.

And so they made a difference. Crime statistics shrank. Bandits stopped crossing the border and simply committed their crimes in Tijuana. Manny Lopez was so infuriated that at least once, he ordered his squad to go through the fence.

In the canyon, the firefights grew more intense. By 1978, the chief knew that it was too dangerous to send men back out there, and shut BARF down.

Aftermath

Crime in the canyons soon returned with a vengeance. No one that I can find ever tried such an action again, and right now, pollos face murder, sexual assault, human trafficking and forced labor when cartels intercept them, and inhumane conditions in camps once they do cross but are caught by ICE.

Here, hatred is and always has been heaped on them, an unbearable weight, an unfair price to pay for simply wanting a better life.

The Border Area Robbery Force made 300 arrests, were involved in 10 shootings and six major firefights and three officers were wounded by gunfire. Yet we will never know how many lives were saved. If the number stood at only one, they would still have done it. The sacrifice was great but the cause was greater. That’s what cops stand for: the greater good.

The pollos had a plan. They wore two sets of clothing: one for the journey and one underneath for job interviews.

Would you be courageous enough to do that?

The BARF team were bitter, mostly about Manny Lopez getting all the press and interviews while nobody else knew their names. They all parted in less than amicable ways, haunted, yet still proud of everything they had accomplished and endured.

“¿Sabes que?”

“BARF!”

Remember: hate should have no place here. If you remember, act like you know you should with mercy, love, friendship and all of the kindness and respect others deserve.

Current status, immigrants and border:

ICE continues with illegal seizures and deportations. Crime in the canyons still happens.

50 Years Ago: The Fall of 1975

Billboard Hot 100™ https://share.google/Fh1fHfO6hfDHb1YvK

That’s the top 40 (weekly) format, played by Opus and Casey Kasem. The top 100 hits of the year were compiled and played on New Year’s Eve.

What you need to know is that every month of this year was a rollercoaster. There weren’t many that stayed in the top ten for long, and most of those didn’t deserve to. Rock was dying, heavy metal was burning rubber, country spilled into the pop charts without remorse, and it was a mess.

Most of these songs I can’t remember. Radio has changed: automated stations with no live DJs, nothing but recorded chat and ads. Back then it didn’t matter if a song wasn’t worthy of sales, whether in single or LP format, and 8tracks had become notorious for getting eaten during play.

The radio was always on at the weekend hangout, in the warehouse where I worked, in the car going to school. My older sister didn’t mind feeding us Top 40, and when school started, this was a quirky but cool hit:

It’s catchy, melancholy, and it sold. I enjoyed it. Still do.

Now the Spinners, I didn’t expect a tune like this from them, but it’s my favorite. I first heard it while I was sick, laid up with the flu, so miserable that music was my only distraction. Secretly, I didn’t mind missing school. I was in a prep school that I hated, and, being an asshole, tried to singlehandedly cause enough destruction and chaos to put it out of business. The school, which had been there since very early in that century, shut down 3 years after I left. I was an extraordinary asshole.

Helen Reddy: people still laugh at me for loving her music, her example, her passion for equal rights. Her voice was incredibly distinct, leaving no doubt who was singing. I loved her. Women like Merilee Rush, Janis Joplin, Joan Baez, Helen Reddy and many more used art to gain what resembled equal rights. I’m not so sure things ever got to the equal level. I find that tragic.

Then there was Earth, Wind and Fire!

Justice came as the Captain and Tenille dropped in the chart, but they would return with a dreadful song, “Muskrat Love” complete with sickening keyboard effects, I guess to imitate Suzy’s orgasms. Disgusting. Not because I don’t find muskrat orgasms uninteresting; I’m really rather ambivalent. But if I have to hear Suzy’s expressions of sexual satisfaction, can’t I get it from an MP-3 byte and not a perv on a keyboard? Fuck.

Jefferson Starship hit with a single that would still be played every day in 1978.

In September, the thriller film Three Days of the Condor with Robert Redford, Faye Dunaway, and Max Von Sydow debuted. It was the only movie ever filmed in the Twin Towers. Max Von Sydow steals the show as a contract killer. Cliff Robertson appears as a CIA supervisor involved in an underground government after oil, and John Houseman is always worth seeing.

Dog Day Afternoon with Al Pacino is still good, but once was enough for me. Hits hard.

Elsewhere, Any American Troops remaining in Vietnam were captured, killed or both by a new Laotian regime, another assassination attempt was made against President Gerald Ford, and the next few months were not going to let 1975 go quietly. As leaves changed colors and everyone began to feel the holiday spirit coming, they were about to have that delayed for them.

Memorial Day

On Memorial Day, we’re supposed to somberly reflect on men and women whose lives were ended by war, ended by fighting for you.
No one does that. Maybe they watch a John Wayne movie and eat disgusting hot dogs cooked over charcoal and chase them with cheap beer like Pabst. But that’s it. No thought given to anyone who was killed by live fire, no one who died in agony on a stretcher, no one who died later of wounds so gross you would throw up if you were there.
This Memorial Day, while Trump pisses on the graves of soldiers, freedom fighters, Marines, air crews and pilots, sailors and everyone else who answered the call to war, their memories will be kept only by people like you. Don’t turn your backs to them.
Remember what cost freedom has, and ask yourselves, “Did they really die for nothing? Was Bunker Hill, Gettysburg, the Somme, Peleliu, and the Ardennes all worthless after all?”

Then look around you, and watch the news, and you’ll have your answer.

The Catholic Church Conspiracy

I toured the Vatican.

But it is smaller than I had pictured. The guide (s) took us to different places and threw enough monologues at us that I grew very sleepy.

Mostly it was rooms, different ones where sections were defined by those velvet ropes on brass stands. Some woman I couldn’t see kept interrupting the guides to ask leading questions about this or that. She had her own instructional monologues. One man (Drink Coke Zero) who smoked (Camel) unfiltered cigarettes with us smokers on a break in a small courtyard (Buy Blue Bunny Ice Cream) had a good voice for his section of the tour and once when I sleepily went from one section to another and left my pack of (Camel Filtered Cigarettes) at the table, he silently went behind me to the next section of the tour and made sure I got them back. He smiled solicitously and made me sick.

The tour of the Sistine Chapel was something I looked forward to (“Anticipation” by Carly Simon plays over a ketchup commercial) and it was taking forever. We were warned in advance that no smoking was allowed and I’m thinking “No shit, lady, us smokers ain’t allowed to smoke nowhere anymore,” because people choke and cough for miles away and I swear you can hear them, or, if they see you light up, they whine, “Oh no, I’m allergic to cigarette smoke,” and you look and they’re all the same, morbidly obese women with suicide blonde hair, yoga pants and a fucked-up attitude…

We were also not to carry any cell phones (Get the new Samsung 360 for only 2,300 dollars and a fifty-five-year contract while this sale lasts), paper clips (Office Depot) or pens (Paper Mate Wright Brothers Pens available in Eckerd’s, Dart Drugs, Read’s Drug Store and Montgomery Ward) and oh jeez shut up already. What did they think we were gonna do, graffiti Michaelangelo’s shit? Make paint chips fall off the walls with Wi-Fi signals? Steal panels by paper-clipping them inside our coats?

The subject of some obscure dead dude who predicted all the names of the popes ending with Francis came up. The theories that Pope Leo XIV is the last one and the third prophecy of Fatima were being discussed at sleep-inducing length. I thought, this was supposed to be a tour.

Instead I was getting half-history, half-conspiracy theories poured straight into my brain by an opening in my skull I never even knew was there ((Ask your doctor if Ketamine is right for you)).

But (((Get Boar’s Head deli meats!))) whatever I was hearing, it seemed like I could never see the speaker. Their voices were always behind me. That just didn’t seem right.

Then, in a section marked off with large white ribbons or crepe paper (Party City has everything you need for your next indoctrination) hundreds of school children on some sick field trip were filling steel fold-up chairs in front of us. One youth was carrying an Igloo container full of grape (Yeah, Kool-Aid’s here, bringing you cheer) drink. He offered a cup to a kid who did that weird punk shrug in defiance. I decided I hate kids on the spot. Rebellious wastrels with a diminished respect for free speech who then turn out to spout the worst, most mindless crap you ever heard because they watch Tik Tok all day and eat shrooms (Fresh Portabello mushrooms at your neighborhood Giant, only 10.99 a pound!) or sneak (Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer) into their bedrooms and brag in school the next day that they drank a six pack last night even though one can of warm hick beer had them puking for an hour. They’re stupid. They’re limpets mom will never see move out.

Sometimes things don’t work out. The tour ended without the Sistine Chapel.

By then I was so weary that all I wanted was a smoke (Come to where the flavor is. Come to Marlboro Country!) and some sleep.

I did, however, find myself in a small connecting corridor looking for the Men’s room. I had to go.

Now, I don’t care for conspiracy theories, which is why I lampooned the really sick ones about The Brady Bunch and Gilligan’s Island, so if you want, you can read those. Conspiracy theories are a waste of time because they’re usually absurd and paranoid in nature, and can neither be proved nor disproved because people don’t listen to the truth, they’d prefer a lie any day.

Faked “evidence” is all over the place on the Internet and stacks at libraries, if there are any of those left.

The recent flood of conspiracy theories including the resurgence of the Apollo moon landings make me sick. Look, if you don’t believe they happened then that’s your decision. Remember, though, it’s a choice.

And remember that we have all chosen to believe lies before. Sometimes, we just didn’t know. But sometimes we were staring straight down the throat of the truth, and along came some Fox TV special about mysterious black boxes in cars that made them crash or lead police into high-speed chases. And of course, the one about Stanley Kubrick faking the moon landings with NASA.

I’m not going to bother with that crap. If you want to believe that hundreds of people kept those a secret, that nobody talked, goody. But it is truly stupid.

And another thing.

While subliminal advertising may have or maybe just once been rumored to exist and work, and could even be in use today, there’s no reason to believe it does work, or is necessary at all, when real commercial ads have you craving KFC at two in the morning when nothing is open and the only KFC you know of is 75 miles away.

Oh, and the Vatican tour?

About that: I don’t care about the archive rumors. I don’t care for Dan Brown’s novels. I don’t care about Catholic-Nazi collaboration in WW 2. I don’t care if the church made a deal with the Devil in Hell himself, if, in the end, it saved innocent lives, or even if it didn’t but was intended to, then I at least can understand that. Whether you or I approve makes no difference; it’s done. Long ago, done and over.

I think the Catholic Church does make one mistake, though.

In the grand trappings of the priests, bishops, cardinals and the Pope, there’s nothing holy. They’re just men, and Jesus never said for his disciples to stand out like that. He did pronounce words to the Pharisees, describing them as whitewashed on the outside but on the inside being full of dead men’s bones. That’s a pretty big deal.

His ministry was humble. Simple. He offered hope in a land where little was to be found under Rome’s hobnailed boots. He gave us all the promise that faith would be rewarded to those who believe and hold out to the end. But of gold and silver candlesticks, paintings and painted ceilings and walls with images, he would repeat that none of it was holy, none of it would get anyone into Heaven, and that works mean nothing next to faith.

Trappings of wealth or status are horrifying to me and that’s why I loved Francis. He didn’t live in Vatican City or wear the ridiculous Halloween costume (Party City has all your cosplay and Halloween party needs!) of tradition.

My tour of The Vatican was a miserable one. Maybe.

Or maybe I awoke at 03:47, accidentally ingested two Blue Bunny Ice cream sandwiches, chased them with a cup of Columbian brew, and turned on a documentary about the prophecy of the popes, put my headphones on and fell back asleep, forgetting about auto play and sleeping listlessly through programs about the Vatican, Nostradamus, and Catholic Church conspiracy theories.

No wonder the voices sounded like they were behind me.

So the next time you think you have it bad, just remember, you’ll sleep better with the TV off.

In fact, just unplug the bloody thing.

Have a wonderful weekend. I won’t. Because maybe subliminal advertising is real (I smoke Marlboro cigarettes, not Camels. But I do have the impulse to go to Party City, buy a Rambo costume, and hunt wild boars with a knife. And eat their heads.

Sure is a good thing ain’t no boar around here!

The nerve of this mutt.

I have a headache (Get Extra Strength Tylenol).

You love fortune cookies. You want to buy a whole case right now. You want to share them with all of your friends.

You do.

Moist Coals to Newcastle: The Unforgettable Baltimore ”Poo Poo Choo-Choo”

Not the actual engine. I think they had to retire the original one.

Originating in Baltimore at the Back River sewage treatment facility, 10,000 tons of “treated” sewage (for all intents and purposes, raw poop) CSX took a consist of 61 railcars to Newcastle, LA. But it reeked to such an extent that residents raised a stink of their own. Officials told CSX to get it out of the state.

Thus began the saga of the infamous “Poo poo choo-choo,” a part of history no one wants to be reminded of.

After half of its cargo had been “unloaded,” the train was relocated to Mississippi, which wanted it on their rails even less than its neighbor had. It was ordered out, but hit a snag when red tape prevented any movement.

This may have been historic, marking the first time anyone in Mississippi was overpowered by the stench of human waste. Mississippi’s command was clear: “SCAT!”

Of course, being the autumn of 1989, the South was still quite “temperate.”

I recall that the summer in the Baltimore area had been hot, but the heat lasted well into September and October.

By November, my only memory of the weather seems to be that on Thanksgiving eve, it snowed, the white mantle substantial for that time of year; something I’ve never seen since, nor do I recall any such thing before it.

But at the beginning of the month, it is usually moderate here, while in the south, well. You can get the scent of where this is going, right?

It did not help that Baltimore could only unload the cars a few to six at a time, so engines pulled six-car consists (if anything else traveled with them, I can’t verify it) back to Maryland.

What you cannot possibly read or even imagine is that during this saga, Maryland residents were being served a pile of steaming hate and ridicule. Not just at the municipal level either; it really was a big deal, with people being interviewed having their remarks edited from video tape and print. The local news stations didn’t help much; how can one defend a trainload of poo from people still eating crab cakes, Esskay hot dogs and drinking Natty Boh and Carling Black Label?

Hint: you can’t.

Because the end results are always capable of summoning flies in January.

Facing the threats of considerable fines, the October-November journey stood still because, well, nobody wanted it. I’m assured that such things have happened before, but if so, nobody remembers it. The more offensive a subject is while it is in play, the more it seems likely to be easily forgotten.

But some of us can’t forget. Baltimore and its entire suburban region, which is massive, was nearly stoned to death with words and lip-curling loathing. Or humor that stung just as badly, because the insults were just included in bent humor. Even Arkansas got in on the fun as it, too, had rejected the horror on rails and hurled insults at CSX, Conrail and Baltimore. The scent smelled nothing like a Giorgio perfume but was by easily more attention-getting.

By far the funniest reference to it was printed in a Manchester article announcing a seminar: “All aboard the Poo-Poo Choo-choo” it says, which gives the time for the seminar as lunchtime. Even I, with my sick sense of humor, can’t understand that little nugget. A luncheon? Who even uses that word anymore? A “luncheon.” To talk about dukie. Those folks at Manchester must really be hardcore, that’s for sure. “And for desert, we have Pepto-Bismol.” Totally sick.

At the bottom of this pile was, of course, low income people and families, usually the last ones left when rich folks move away from the rails. As we’ve seen in San Bernardino and Ohio, residential areas anywhere close to trains are by definition in constant danger. So it’s enough that derailments can happen, but putting up with the stench of sewage sitting on a siding is an immediate threat to health. Not to mention the quality of life. Cooking on the grill tonight? You’d better reconsider that. Unless you like burgers that taste like they came from the south end of a north-facing cow instead of coming from the butcher shop.

I’ve had that happen when a neighbor next door trucked in about 2 tons of cow pies for his lawn. For months, there was no escaping it. Hamburger patties tasted just like the cow patties smelled. And this was fresh poo, not the dried variety. I was so sick at the time that I couldn’t even wonder where he got it or how the sale could be legal. We were very careful to leave baseballs and footballs right where they landed if it was in Mr. Charlie’s yard. Didn’t want them back. Ever.

It’s easy to understand now how those living near the rails felt. Their protests were justified. Even the government had to give a crap.

Feces to Newcastle? Don’t try that again! That was the message and the lesson.

And if you think that I’m removed from this situation at all, I lived in Dundalk about one or two air miles from the Back River plant. In the scorching summer of 1994. Without air conditioning. Depending on an open window and a fan to cool my room.

And guess which way the wind or the night breeze usually blew.

Yup.

Two-Book Review: Eugene B. (“Sledgehammer”) Sledge’s Extraordinary Autobiographies

After watching the HBO miniseries, “The Pacific” from 2010 several times, I was overcome by the hate, mud, isolation, and earth-shaking gun and artillery fire, the effect it had on one’s nerves and, the worst part, the ground war that often went hand-to-hand. Bitter combat to the death at close, closer, and then very personal, single combat.

I came away too with an indestructible love and awe for the First Marines in the Pacific theater of World War Two. I know that actors played the parts of these men who loved their country too much to let anything else come first. In the wake of tragedy during the savage attacks on Pearl Harbor and the Philippines, men couldn’t enlist fast enough. They were filled with what Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto was reported (it was never confirmed that he said it, but he certainly had to think it) to have said after realizing that no U.S. Navy aircraft carriers had been in port: “I fear that we have awakened a sleeping giant and filled him with terrible resolve.”

Whether he said it or not makes no matter because that is exactly what the Empire of Japan had done.

Before the spring of 1942 came, the military and industrial behemoth that was the United States was gearing up to free Europe from the Blitzing Nazi Germany and Italy and to send every Japanese ship to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. Watching and reading the real news articles newsreels of those days almost a century ago is one thing. I first saw the silent 16mm footage of the attack on Pearl Harbor in junior high school, shown by my (still) favorite teacher ever. He made no mistake about it: history was not nice to watch. Later in the year, he showed raw footage of American soldiers liberating a concentration camp as well as Soviet film from Auschwitz. History wasn’t a nice, clean subject.

The Pacific is a great piece of history itself, showing us the personal home lives of Marines heading to war after the Christmas of 1941. For so many men, it was their last Christmas with their families.

Eugene B. Sledge wanted to go but couldn’t. His father, a doctor of internal medicine, had detected a heart murmur. Gene wrote a book years later. Its title: With the Old Breed at Peleliu and Okinawa, released in 1981. He would later give his readers (and himself) closure by writing a short sequel, China Marine, at the request of his wife, Jeanne. After watching the miniseries and reading the book, I, too, needed a cooling down and closure.

Far from my intention here is to diminish any of our brave military in peace and at war. Any war.

But the miniseries, a companion to the hit Band of Brothers, hit me especially hard. In fact, the two can no more be measured against each other than the European and Pacific wars can be. They’re different in too many ways. But where I had been emotionally touched in Brothers, I cried my way through most of Pacific. Both series had episodes that were difficult to watch, but nothing in Brothers, except for Episode 9, which was an ambush to many viewers, made me continue to run the waterworks like Pacific did. It’s already been noted by critics as being more packed with blood and bodies than Brothers, but this is necessary as the island fighting was often so close. At distance, artillery was used, and bodies were tossed, in pieces, long distances. Mortars, machine guns, and grenades could make men into something you’d see in one of Stephen King’s nightmares. He has enough of those to go around, doesn’t he?

But Sledgehammer writes in a graphic but controlled way. The first things that many Marines saw when taking an island were the first American KIA sitting up with their own penises in their mouths.

The savagery of the Japanese hit the gentle Sledge hard, so much so that his hatred of them is virtually instantaneous. That hatred only grows as the fighting on Peleliu goes on. He describes going without water, as the supplies aren’t quick in getting to them from the Navy.

He admiringly describes “Gunny” Elmo Haney, a man obsessed with bayoneting the enemy, and who scrubbed his genitals with a utility (hard bristle) brush. He was, Sledgehammer wrote, issued by God to the Marines, never having been humanly conceived. That’s not hyperbole when one marine describes another. Haney fought, reportedly but not officially, in World War I. He did fight in the so-called Banana Wars, and in World War Two, when he was among the oldest serving members of the First Marines Division. He finally broke on Peleliu, but nothing like in the series. He told Sledgehammer, “That was terrible.” He retired and went home. Peleliu was really that horrible.

Sledgehammer wrote about losing his captain Haldane. The two had shared talk about their families and the C.O. was patient with Eugene, seeing the new recruit changing into something less human and wishing it weren’t so. He gave Sledgehammer some advice, but he never left the island alive. The author sees changes in the eyes and on the faces of his fellow mortar squad members and imagines that he probably has that same look. He describes the battles well, with heavily researched facts and his own perspective, trying to be crisp and straightforward, and that makes this book all the more heartbreaking. Because, at times, he does let his feelings out. His narration mentions few names, using “buddies” instead, and yet does mention Snafu several times. He even quotes the New Orleans native by spelling words as Snafu pronounced them. That’s good writing.

In the end, the airfield on Peleliu wasn’t even used by General Douglas McArthur. That’s like spitting in the faces of the survivors and on the graves of those who made the ultimate sacrifice. And Marines never forget. Not something like that,  they don’t.

On Okinawa, the series showed Eugene come very close to losing his soul, or indeed losing it. But then, he reclaimed it by refusing to shoot a wounded native woman. She was gunshot and wanted him to pull the trigger, but he instead held her head in his arms gently until she passed.

That… did not happen. Sledge was so far gone that he couldn’t. He turned to leave her, and someone else shot her.

At this point, it’s necessary for me to point out that it is highly improbable that this or any other women on Okinawa were Japanese.

They were possibly native to that island but more likely were “comfort women” that had been taken by force from occupied territories like Vietnam, Australia, the Netherlands (!), China, and, mostly, Korea. What the term means is “sex slaves” to be used by the fighting men of the Empire. But they were not merely sex slaves. They were horribly mistreated and tortured, and they took beatings regularly. According to Wikipedia and in-depth articles I’ve read, these women were often killed, and many committed suicide. The Japanese were never sorry for this sad and evil thing that they did. They never included the women in their reparations, and after that article I read, they were forced, by the growing knowledge of that obscure part of the war, to apologize. To save face.

According to everything I have learned about the Japanese, there was never an intention of making apologies for sex trafficking and sexual war crimes. In fact, Eastern attitudes about sexuality have never failed to disgust me. For a society like the Japanese to regard honor above life itself, they seem quite dishonorable to me. During fighting on Okinawa and other locations, women were shoved out ahead of soldiers, as diversions, shields, and booby traps (explosives were concealed under their robes). I’ll note here that while this is indeed a war crime, I don’t know if this type of offense was ever addressed in the post-war trials (there were similar atrocities in the Korean and Vietnam wars).

Even today, and I have seen the proof with my own eyes, there’s underground pornography from Japan that’s left me with trauma. I don’t know how people can do such things (you want to know about evil? I’ve seen it. I know there is a real devil).

Some things in the series didn’t happen or happened differently or with people not shown on film. That’s okay. I still think Sledgehammer would have been pleased with it. He went home in the sequel book China Marine, in which he describes the winter of 1945 to part of 1946 in China. It was cold, the barracks were unheated, and the chow was terrible. He stood a guard post when, several times, he encountered dogs left behind by the Japanese infantry. Specially bred and trained attack dogs, vicious to begin with, now roaming free, cold, hungry, and twice as dangerous. Sledge doesn’t want to shoot the first one he sees in a frightening face-off. The dog eventually left, but he did report it, and the hunt to kill the dogs was on.

And I believe that’s what saved Eugene: he had a love for animals and nature. He would go on to earn a PhD. in Biology and was a college professor for years.

Of the train ride home, touching as it was, I don’t know who was at the table with him in the L&M dining car. He does not record it that way. But he does note that leaving such close and dependable friends was very difficult for him.

Without further assistance from me, I can still recommend both books for great reading. World War Two was full of men and women fighting courageously for the right thing, justice, and the greater good it brought. And now I have learned about more of them. It gave me hope. There’s a lot of evil here on this earth. But there are always good people to help set things right. That’s really heartening. Especially these days, as monsters masquerade as patriots and come as ravenous wolves in the form of sheep.

If you worry about men like Donald Trump taking this country to the grave, then at least we have the miniseries like The Pacific and books like those of Eugene Sledge  to remind us how things used to be. He should have returned with medals. He was never wounded, so he never got a Purple Heart, but he was brave and helped his mates and weathered and survived things that would surely have killed a man like me. He, Snafu, and everyone they served with should have been decorated numerous times. They received nothing for their sacrifices of blood, sweat, terror, and trauma. Instead, they got nightmares and extra work.

It’s  a Tom Hanks kind of touch that, in the last minutes of the series, Eugene lies back in a meadow and holds a daisy up to the sun. For just an instant, it looks very like the Rising Sun flag of the now vanquished Empire of Japan. Maybe it’s him weighing the cost of keeping his hatred or letting it go. He was finally beginning to accept his wounds of the soul. Those wounds never leave us; we just learn to live with them.

Remember these men. Do this, and their pain wasn’t in vain.

The Pacific: Better Than Band of Brothers?

The miniseries you never knew was there. Based on memoirs.

Three men. One, a courageous man whose actions in battle still echo across time.

One, who never should have even wanted to go to a war, but did anyway, and almost paid for it with his soul.

And another, whose bravery should have become legend like the first man, who yet survived to return home. And then daring to become something far better than his dreams, the imaginings of a lonely man, covered in mud and filth, writing letters he never meant to send to a woman he barely knew. And was now a world away.

The characters are real: Robert Leckie, Eugene B. Sledge, John Basilone.

During the Second World War, the story of the United States Marines gets overlooked in these days of short attention spans and lack of meaningful education in these United States.

History teachers have to stick with increasingly bare outlines lacking much text within. To get anything more, one must rely on websites or, more preferably, books collecting dust at a local library.

The usual case with the United States is a shameful one. All veterans of war and veterans in general are looked at with uncaring eyes, treated with a heart-rending lack of respect or the slightest bit of gratitude. They are our heroes, the men and women who served us in war and in peace, earning little pay, getting little in return, sometimes not even V.A. benefits. It is very dishonorable, the treatment they get.

One might think it was not always like this. But whatever you read or hear about any war you randomly pick, yes, it was always like this.

An argument can be made that returning veterans of the Vietnam War got the treatment they deserved, but as bad as that was, thanks to politicians and the media, perhaps it’s not as isolated as the observer sees it. Truth is, the Vietnam vet was every bit as brave and as faithful as any other man or woman who served in war times. The 1960s weren’t kind to service veterans, and I’m truly ashamed of that. But it has happened to veterans after every war. It always will. World War Two was no different.

The Pacific, executive-produced by Hanks and Spielberg, who did Band of Brothers, is the first of two companion series for the landmark 2001 series. The next just aired on Apple TV and was centered on the war fought in the skies over Europe. Since I haven’t the means to access the series, I’ll skip it. Besides, the critics didn’t like as much, and that’s fine with me.

In the first episode, we see the men, two going off to war, one saying goodbye to his best friend but unable to go because of a heart murmur. In episode two, we see Pfc. Bob Leckie and Gny Sgt. John Basilone on Guadalcanal, in the fight for an airfield, taking on a ceaseless charge of Japanese infantry. Basilone mans a .30 Browning machine gun, the early model with a water-cooled barrel. The jackets on these outdated weapons became searingly hot, and in more than one case, the Japanese managed to hit these water chambers and cause the barrels to overheat. But even with the water jacket intact, the weapon was an amazing piece of equipment. It could be fired constantly, and a 3-man crew feeding the ammo contained on cloth belts and assisting in calling shots and clearing jams were highly effective.

Henderson Field was of strategic importance to both sides, and the Marines were not about to give it up. To get to the field, the Japanese infantry had to cross water, which caused them to slow down and bottleneck to just such a degree that these machine guns tore them apart: on the night of 21 August 1942, the First Marines held a position on the bank. One three-man crew consisted of assistant gunner Albert Schmid. At one point, the gunner was killed by the surging Japanese, and Schmid took his position. He fired continually even after the water jacket was hit, and his gun’s barrel glowed like steel under a cutting torch. Knowing that meant utilizing short instead of long bursts of fire, and despite being wounded by a grenade, and being blinded as well, Schmid stayed at the gun, reloading and firing it by himself at first, then with assistance. What he did that night was and is legendary, worthy of a Homerian epic. He made Herakles look like a boy.

When the attacks ceased, two hundred enemy lay dead in front of him. Only one survivor escaped without a wound; the rest of the survivors suffered various injuries. It’s on the record that the Japanese commander killed himself for his dishonor.

John Basilone, another member of First Marines, had to move his machine gun, and with the heat of the barrel, he received 3rd degree burns on his hands and arms, because he had to cradle the barrel. He was credited with 83 confirmed kills, but he didn’t stop there. He shot several enemies while running, an extraordinary feat. He also ran for ammo and even dodged hostile fire to pull down a pile of bodies consisting of enemy KIA. It was his time to be a hero, an inspiration to his comrades, a hero who would go down in history as a Medal of Honor recipient. Col. Chesty Puller awarded the medal, which comes from the Commander in Chief, the US President, not Congress. There is not, nor has there ever been, any such thing as “the congressional medal of honor”. It is the Medal of Honor, period.

In Episode three, we see the troops, weary and filthy, docking in Melbourne to a wharf lined with cheering people, streamers, and pomp. Leckie begins a romance only to be dumped because she gets attached and is sure she will be heartbroken when he never comes back. But Leckie, despite a drinking binge and being broken in rank, recovers and continues to write letters to Vera, the girl who lived across the street while they both grew up.

Eugene Sledge finally enters training after his father, a doctor, tells him that the murmur is gone. But his father treated returning WWI veterans, and he tells his son that it wasn’t the physical wounds he treated that haunts him to this day. It was that look in their eyes, he says with a soft southern drawl, “…what I saw was that their souls had been lost. I couldn’t bear to look at you and see no spark in your eyes. That would break my heart.”

Stop. Because I really have to say, I wish I’d had a father like him.

In the 5th episode, Eugene gets a typical rude reception by veterans when he joins them. One of them, known as Snafu, plays a prank, a fairly mean yet mild one, on the new arrivals, but in the next episode, he starts to coach the new guys, although harshly. Sledge sees him prying gold off the teeth of a dead Japanese soldier, casually explaining that gold is thirty dollars an ounce. Taken aback, Pfc Eugene Sledge says nothing. In the next episode, Leckie returns to action after a hospital stay for enuresis, or, a problem with urinary incontinence. He’s hit by shrapnel while assaulting an enemy airfield on Peleliu, another in the island hopping campaign that never made sense to me. Its point was to save casualties by skipping over islands that could be bypassed without giving up strategic targets that mattered more. In gaining air superiority, islands with airfields were necessary targets. We concentrated on those. Had anyone in high command known what Peleliu would coast, they would have skipped that hellish place, too. It was here that “Gunny,” a WWI veteran, who was part of the Old Guard and an inspiration to the men, finally broke. He later told Sledge, “Ain’t never seen nothing like that. That was horrible. I’m ready to hang it up after that.” This scene is from Eugene’s book, and it isn’t shown. But we do see the thousand-yard stare, the trembling, the loss of humanity he has suffered. And, as I’ve seen that look with my own eyes, I can tell that it’s both heartbreaking and terrifying to see.

While charging against withering fire across the airfield, Snafu falls, disoriented and unable to get up. Eugene grabs him, and they make it to cover. It’s the beginning of a bond that will be mutually beneficial. As the unfeeling Snafu is an inspiration to Eugene afterward to lose his own humanity, Snafu will eventually pull himself back to humanity by being around Sledge. While on a route march, Snafu asks Eugene if he’s got a smoke. He gets one and says, “Thanks, Sledgehammer.” His new nickname.

Episode 8 sees John Basilone return to duty. He’s tired of Jane Grey and room service. He gets permission to train recruits and, meanwhile, falls in love with and marries Lena. He ships out to lead his men on Iwo but is killed the first day.

Next is Okinawa. A taste of what an invasion of Japan would be like?

Not even close. But it is a terrible ordeal. I’m not going any further than to say that this episode (9) is where Eugene gives up his humanity and even attacks a Japanese POW. He’s threatened with court-martial but seethes. It is only at the end when he’s faced with a cruel choice that he manages to make a very moving decision and emerges reunited with his soul. Of course, Snafu has a part in it, seeing Sledgehammer becoming like himself and intervening.

I found episode 10 to be a very moving conclusion to the series. Unlike Band of Brothers, we get to see some good, some sad, and utterly heartbreaking outcomes as they all return home.

We don’t get to see Snafu being met at the train station; he vanishes into the crowd with his dufflebag. We see Lena Basilone visit John’s parents, giving his father John’s Medal of Honor. Then Bob Leckie, who seems to adjust quickly, asks Vera for a date. He tells her about the letters he wrote, but she tells him that she never got them. He tells her he didn’t mail them because he didn’t think he would make it. She asks if she can read them now, and he says they didn’t survive the weather, but she presses him. “What were they like?”

“Best stuff I ever wrote,” he says, and it’s magic. They’re falling in love.

Eugene does not fare as well. His father hears him mumbling his nightmares out loud at night, and in a very poignant scene, he takes a seat outside of the door. He silently weeps for his boy.

He tries to take Gene dove hunting, but Eugene just can’t even nanage carrying the rifle. A few paces behind his father, he breaks down, dropping the rifle and falling to his knees, sobbing. “I’m sorry, I can’t,” he says. His father bends and puts his arms around him and softly says, “You don’t have to apologize to me,”

Eugene can’t work. He’s hurt, and he knows it. He does try to apply for college. This is what happened:

Although it’s said that the series lost money, it has a cult status today thanks to reaction videos. It maintains its historic accuracy and is often much more moving than any other depiction of the war in other motion pictures I’ve seen. Currently still available on HBO/Max, this is something everyone should see.

Is it really on any par with Band of Brothers?

I leave the answer to you. But it’s  worthy of a look. Whether you’re a first-time watcher or not doesn’t matter. Go ahead and watch it again.

As for myself? I love both of these series, but I have a bit of bias toward The Pacific. It’s darker than Band, with a grotesqueness that made me laugh, cry, and everything in between. The weapons, vehicles, uniforms, everything is here. I believe that there’s no need to compare Band with Pacific, but this series has the home front depicted, and to me, that’s a plus. You get where these guys are coming from.

An honorable mention goes out to William Sadler for his portrayal of Chesty Puller, a hero and still one of the most decorated Marines in history. The actors did an amazing job of convincing me that I was witnessing actual history.

Note: This is what I’ve been doing lately, watching TV and reading, just trying to keep my mind busy. I haven’t anything new to report about my health, so there’s no reason to bring it up except that whatever happens, it’s fine. I’ll be okay. As always,  thanks for stopping in, and may God bless.

The Magic of Jesus Christ Superstar 50 Years Later

What’s your all-time favorite album?

August of this year marked the 50th anniversary of the release of the film Jesus Christ Superstar.

It is an historic event, celebrating a masterpiece of art and culture from a time so long ago that you may not have been born yet. That’s too bad, because this is a musical film every bit worth seeing, but also a snapshot of popular culture and music from a time when people felt lost and teens were searching for their identity amid very troubled times.

Shot on location in 1972, released in August of 1973, the first thing to know is, it stirred up a lot of controversy.

That is no understatement, either. Protests happened outside of cinemas, then the entire Christian community became divided. When given a screening of it by director Norman Jewison, Pope Paul VI praised it. He found it inspiring and said that it “would bring (a lot of) people to Christianity.”

The pope also felt stirred by Mary Magdalena’s song “I don’t know how to love him” and felt that it was inspired.

There was, however, the age-old controversy of the Romans versus the Jews as to “who killed Christ”, and some of course claimed that it had an antisemitic theme.

It did not, but you would first need to understand what was already happening at the time of Christ. The movie chronicles the final week of the life of Jesus, what we Christians call “the Passion Week” which begins on Palm Sunday.

Contrary to belief, the Romans never flogged a condemned prisoner before saddling him with a cross. Known as the “half-death”, Rome had a set of rules to be followed to the letter regarding flogging and execution. Pilate had no intention of giving the Jews what they wanted. He hated his post and dreamed of a promotion, but Tiberius was slowly going mad and threatened to punish the prefect if he stirred up the Jewish people again, which he had, heretofore, taken great joy in doing. Giving in to Caiaphas was inevitable. He had no love or sympathy for Jesus, but there is reason to believe that the auxiliary soldiers (barbarians) consisted of semitic men who hated the Jews and wielded the lash with nothing held back, causing Pilate to recoil on seeing Jesus afterward. No victim of such a beating was ever supposed to be crucified; they would not last long, they wouldn’t be able to carry their cross, and the purpose of public execution to deter crime was rendered useless.

Also, the “39 lashes” was a Jewish custom and carried out not with a flagellum but with rods. Then, the act of washing his hands while pronouncing the death sentence, that, too, was a Jewish custom. He was throwing it in their face in a spiteful act.

One can argue these and many other details ad nauseum, but the act of the Sacrifice is always there, no matter what. It was meant to happen and no one race or group was responsible.

There’s really nothing here to fight over. Except one glaring detail…

The movie begins very curiously. A camera in some ruins pans, then shows a red, blue and silver bus raising dust as it approaches. When it stops a bunch of hippie actors begin unloading props to put on a project, and we know it’s a movie. The cross lashed to the bus roof is not a surprise; we know what this movie will be. As the Overture plays, Ted Neely (Jesus), wearing hippie threads, walks past the now grounded cross and looks down at it, a detail I missed for 20 years. I did see the movie on the big screen, which is still the best way, but details escape me.

As everyone dons costumes and makeup, the music intensifies until we see Neely changed into his Jesus costume and Judas (the one and only Carl Anderson) walks away, symbolic of his isolation from the other Apostles.

Since Anderson played Judas and was black, another protest sprang up. But the production could never have been done without him. His voice, the notes he could hit, his expressions, all made him the best man for the job.

In the heat of the deserts of the Holy Land, the crew and actors required 5 quarts of water or more a day. Temperatures reached 120°F, causing heat exhaustion, dehydration and they were all overdressed. Metal helmets, bloused military boots, heavy robes, even tunics…this production was brutal.

But everyone stuck it out. Friends were made. Their was love, a joy among them. That’s pretty special. Ted Neely even met his future wife, Leeyan Granger, on set, and their first encounter is sweet and romantic. She literally took his breath away.

The cast became so close that during the shooting of the Crucifixion, the actors watching cried.

The magnum opus is “Gethsemane”, and Ted nailed it in a single take. In the song “Superstar” we see a renewed, resurrected Jesus is clothed in pure white, while Judas asks him “Did you mean to die like that, was that a mistake or did you know your messy death would be a record breaker?”

In the Bible, the priests of the temple were greatly disturbed by the buzz created by Jesus of Nazareth. Stories of miracles worried them enough, but his words to the crowds filtered back to Jerusalem and caused High Priest Caiaphas to picture a revolt by the people against temple authority. By Palm Sunday when Jesus arrived in Jerusalem, he was already a marked man. This is shown in the movie. And in the Trial Before Pilate, the Roman prefectus tries to help Jesus escape death, but Jesus does not defend himself. It turned into a chess match (in the Bible) between Pilate and Caiaphas, one in which Pilate made mistakes with every move, underestimating the high priest and his frenzied crowd.

Following the Crucifixion, the actors board the bus to leave. Some are happy, some somber, especially Mary (Yvonne Eliman). Carl Anderson is the last to board and we see what he keeps looking at: the cross, now alone and bare, the sun setting behind it. Ted Neely doesn’t get on the bus. Jewison didn’t believe in the resurrection and it hadn’t been in the original play anyway. But some say that, if you look closely, in the foreground of the cross, a shepherd with his sheep just happened to walk across the scene. They take it as symbolic of Christ leading his sheep (believers) even after his earthly life had ended.

After seeing the movie, I was forever a fan. The double vinyl LP soundtrack became my favorite record of all time. It always will be. I hope you give it a listen or watch the movie. A Universal Pictures release, it still bears a G rating. You can buy a digital copy on Amazon or find the DVD.

The Overture

“Superstar” from the soundtrack album

The very emotional final number, the instrumental “John 19:41” bookend to the Overture.

The masterpiece that could not have been made without every piece falling into place exactly as it did. Jesus Christ Superstar, from 1973.

Movie Review: “Ghosts of War” (English, 2020)

First off, this very dark and graphic movie isn’t for everyone. Most critics hate it and won’t recommend it. And although it is a release of the Lockdown, not many got to see it then because of limited access. As subscription prices rise to rival the cost of cable, free streaming is a myth standing in front of the growing cost of internet service.

Assuming that you have internet access, then, I suppose you already subscribe to at least one streaming service. Through the magic of the web, once online you can see a load of free movies and TV shows with ads that aren’t unbearable in the commercial break length.

So what to watch, with horrible weather and too many reasons to just chill inside?

Take your pick. Search any film title and the results show where you can see it. Some are on specific subscription services like Disney Plus or Hulu. Not worth the cost, since you’re already paying for Wi-Fi.

I’ve been getting Fios emails warning me that my service will increase in cost in January. They ignore the fact that they’re not the only game in town and should stay competitive, but then again, when does a corporation ever care about its customers?

Tubi is my go-to app for free movies and TV, but I still love the Amazon Prime benefit of tons of movies for cheap, without censorship or ad breaks.

That being said, the heat of summer and the bouts of rain here keep me indoors a lot. Discovering Ghosts of War was one rare treasure that I found compelling and intense. On Tubi now, it’s worth seeing by anyone who likes science fiction, horror and war in one movie.

That’s not to say that it’s particularly frightening; my first viewing had me pausing to take considerable breaks for smokes. It’s ugly stuff, as any movie about war should be. I’m not pushing an anti-war conviction here; all wars have always been nothing but humanity at its very worst, full of carnage, disease, war crimes, and the always present deaths of civilians, crudely called “collateral damage”. I’m saying that in my view, war is terrifying, leaving damaged or dead people everywhere it goes, like a plague. It is stupid, but not merely so; it is the very height of the stupidity of the human race.

I have never been in a major theatre of combat, but I’ve had a brief taste and it can’t be described. The closest thing on screen was the Omaha Beach portion of Saving Private Ryan.

When grenades and mortar shells hit nearby, the loss of hearing except for ringing in the ears and general shock and disorientation Captain Miller experiences are real. You’re terrified by bullets zinging past you, but that state is, and must be, overcome by the adrenaline it produces. It is unforgettable. Years later, decades later, the haunting memory of it gets worse, not better.

Our movie begins in the French countryside in 1944. Five soldiers from the 82nd Airborne are camped at night. The squad leader awakes and sees someone in the trees lighting a cigarette and watching them. He clenches his eyes shut, as a child does when trying to banish something out of a nightmare. When he opens his eyes again, the mysterious man is gone.

The next morning, they continue toward their assigned destination, a chateau 30 miles away by foot. On hearing a German jeep coming, they mine the road and watch as the vehicle hits it. This is our real introduction to the squad: they shoot the survivors, all but one of which would die anyway. Butchie, the big guy, wants to fistfight a major who’s in remarkably good shape considering what just happened. It’s unlikely. Also, the jeep was completely blown apart, but is now lying upside down and basically in one piece. You think it’s a goof, a cheap plot device by the director.

But it’s not. This is how they’re experiencing it. Butchie starts out strong in the fistfight, but the Nazi major quickly begins to beat him. That’s until the squad leader shoots the major in the head with his pistol.

Here’s the cast of the squad:

Chris, the squad leader: Brenton Thwaits

Alan Richson as Butchie, the big, tough guy

Theo Rossi as Kirk

Skylar Astin as Eugene, the brains in the outfit

Kyle Gallner as Tappert, squad sniper, who chews up every scene he’s in. Without him, this movie wouldn’t be worth watching.

Not to be overlooked is the dynamic between the squad members. There’s mistrust, apprehension and a tension that is visible from the beginning, but which becomes palpable later.

On reaching the chateau to relieve the current squad on watch, they find that the relieved members are dodging questions, antsy and far too anxious to leave: our first clue that something isn’t right here.

Searching the house, they find clues of a disturbing nature, and experience doors slamming shut, noises from the fireplace that sound like voices and then Morse code, and a dead animal dropping from the chimney. Eventually, even the level-headed, dedicated Chris admits that the chateau is haunted. Butchie wants to leave, but Chris refuses, saying that abandoning their post is sure to end in their court-martial.

But things get worse. Eugene finds the journal of a Nazi soldier, which describes what the Germans did to the Helwig family, the owners before the Reich moved in and made the beautiful chateau a headquarters. It’s ugly, merciless stuff, enough to horrify anyone. Having discovered that the Helwigs had sheltered Jews, the family’s executions are appropriately gross and barbaric; Nazis executed almost everyone suspected of harboring Jews.

This theme could trigger Holocaust survivors or their descendants, or anyone with a soul. But that’s not the end.

Through the course of the movie, I spotted what I thought were major mistakes. One was the 90 degree angled flashlight. But I looked it up and found that different models were in fact issued, but not widely, to G.I.s in WW2. The earliest had black caps at either end, but later the entire thing was OD green. No problem there.

The use of Thompson machine guns by everyone but the sniper is as incorrect as you can get. Squad leaders (like Captain Miller in Saving Private Ryan) would bear a Tommy, while the others would have carried the M-1 Garand, a rifle so superior to everything the Axis had that General George Patton called it the best weapon of the war and credited it with the Allies’ victory. All of these men carry Tommies, and sidearm, a mistake.

But, I do not consider this or any other inconsistencies to be mistakes.

For one, the squad wears the patches of both airborne and infantry. This is accounted for in the end.

Tappert overhears the others talking about him and later tells Eugene the story behind the cat’s cradle. This makes him both sympathetic and the worst mental casualty of them all. His face is worn by extreme fatigue and yet he tells the story of how he didn’t sleep for 5 days after Strasbourg.

“What I did to those Hitler youth was a fucking nightmare,” he says, but describes the scene as seeing it as an out-of-body experience. “I wanted to kill the eggs before they hatched,” he says. He describes decapitation of one boy who then sits up and makes a cat’s cradle with string. Eugene had told the others, “it wasn’t the first move”, which is inexplicable. Tappert gives that wan smile, tears coming from his eyes, and says in a southern accent, “…and what am I gonna do? I mean, I just cut his head off, am I gonna be rude? So I played cat’s cradle with him and then he just layed back down. It was like a fever dream. I forgot that happened until you reminded me.”

He already told Eugene that his mother liked scary movies. He names two: Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy and I was a Teenage Werewolf, both of which were not released until a decade after the end of the war. Some are quick to jump on this, calling it a glaring mistake. I believe it’s not a mistake at all but is explained in the end.

The chateau ends up getting attacked by Nazis, but the squad fends them off, but Butchie jumps on a grenade and won’t live much longer.

He comes awake through the morphine shots and screams, “This isn’t real” several times, then saying, “it was us!”. Then he tells them to “Remember”, and dies.

I’ve checked everything I saw and questioned in the movie and came away with very little that couldn’t be explained by the end.

In closing, I’ve met many war veterans in my life. Almost to a man they displayed behavior that can only be explained by trauma and tremendous guilt. And which is worse? Or are they always together and come in a bundle like insurance? I’ve known men who bore guilt but never admitted it. I learned how to spot it and adjust my discussions accordingly. The more I learned about my own condition, the less I understood it. PTSD costs millions in lost time at work and accidents from dissociation. War and abuse have more power to wreck lives than modern medicine has to fix the damage.

Here, we see a shocking end that makes a wild payoff, but leaves questions. I found no evidence of the curse used, and the men could not have “all said it at one time or another,” as a doctor claims. Chris had a tube for ventilation or feeding, Tappert has no lower jaw, and Butchie died. The questions linger. But that’s effective, as are the jump scares, phantom images and floors creaking. Critics call this a movie full of clichés. I don’t. I recommend it and score it 9 out of ten.

Remembering 2012

On the first day of the month of June, I was with a healthcare worker. As she drove from Columbia to Elkridge, a dark, lowering sky made me uneasy. The worker asked at one point, “Is that a tornado?”.

It sure was. I had never seen one before. Little did I know, there was another one right behind us, a stone’s throw from where my appointment had been.

Doctors…

It was the wrong day to be out. Ahead, the funnel was in the distance, in the very direction we would be going. I estimated that it was over Elkridge just before the sky opened up and rain lashed the windshield too fast for the wipers to keep up with, and then I lost track of it.

Although not far from BWI/Marshall Airport, Elkridge was spared, but someone spotted it grounded at the airport. Once home, reports from local news came in from areas where no storm chasers with access to radar roamed. Nobody could do better than relay sightings. Those became confusing and only later would I find the reason for that confusion: on 1 June, 2012, the records say, 12 tornadoes hit Maryland, a nightmarish event. Although the state isn’t a hot spot for twisters, they aren’t that rare; some have even been severe.

But the next day I did hear the count at 13 tornadoes. Now I can only find records of 12. Still, an extraordinary storm, formidable to be sure.

I believe only one fatality was recorded, but what followed would be far worse.

A high pressure system had parked over the Midwest. It was big. In a summer month, such a mass of air can tend to stop, remaining stationary and preventing anything weaker to budge it. And that’s bad because it sets itself up as an upper level dome, and that’s exactly what it sounds like: a dome, like a structure, with the whole ecosystem trapped beneath it. Air won’t move, and because the pressure where heat should rise is too high to allow it, heat stays near the ground. It becomes like propane, a gas that’s heavier than air. Propane explosions can happen with even a slight leak. The gas doesn’t disperse quickly enough and a source of ignition can follow the gas right to its source. Grills on rear decks of expensive homes have blown up, taking half or more of the house with it. Many times, nearby homes take extensive damage as well because post-1960s, yards became progressively smaller.

As if it were a heavy gas like propane, the air under the dome heated up to record temperatures. The heatwave of 2012 was underway.

Drought rules the day in such a system. This was not a direct cause of global warming, but a weather system. One that global warming certainly didnt help, and one that hadn’t been seen since the 1930s in the area. Forget degree days; every day was a degree day. Temperatures reached 100 and higher with unrelenting consistency and if weather were a living thing, this animal was vicious and relentless. People without air conditioning died. Cooling centers couldn’t help more than a set number of people, and farmers of tobacco, corn, tomatoes and other vegetables shrugged and watched everything die. Even irrigation systems couldn’t save them.

As June wore on, green grass turned brown and ceased to grow. Nobody but fools thought about going near a lawnmower. It was too hot and it wasn’t necessary. The demand for water to homes was great, but reservoirs were so pressured that Governor O’Malley had a team working on a supply from the Susquehanna River above the dam for areas west of it.

Finally there came June 29th and the very worst the stagnant system could dish out. Baltimore City reached 106°F, a record for that date, but worse was on the way. Something nobody would ever forget.

It wasn’t tornadoes. It was much more bizarre than that.

On that day, what seemed like a mere thunderstorm started somewhere in Iowa. The Storm Prediction Center (SPC) took notice. A shape like a bow (as in archery) began to form along the leading edge. Heat fed the storm instead of blunting it. The ouward arch of the bow pointed east. Everything in its path was going to get damaged.

SPC image, public domain

By 23:00, Maryland was under the gun. As rare as it was, this storm survived the crossing of the Appalachian Mountains without breaking apart. Average storm systems are often broken while crossing the mountains, with cells usually surviving to hit Noth and south of Baltimore. Not always, but if a storm stays intact, it’s weakened. This barrier can make things easier to take, but if enough heat remains east of the range, the cells reform and act as though highly pissed off.

This front didn’t have any regard for mountains, rivers, valleys or any other geographic feature. It was a honey badger storm. Didn’t give a shit.

In the hours between 29 and 30 June, high winds came through and caught me off-guard. I was outside on the deck, having a cigarette. I saw some flashes, some cloud to cloud and cloud to ground, of lightning, heard wind, and the next thing I knew, I was grabbed by a gust and almost thrown over the railing. I had never been hit with wind like that. My cigarette vanished into the night, ripped from my hand, then I was bent over the handrail and the air was sucked out of my chest.

In that instant, I had probably been hit by a gust over 70 m.p.h. and you don’t forget a thing like that. You never do.

I had no idea what just happened. The next day I learned that the storms were part of the heatwave. The straight-line winds, called a durecho, happened all the time in the Midwest. Crossing the mountains, that was rare.

My daughter just missed the tornado outbreak but arrived in time from Oklahoma to see the durecho. After living in Oklahoma and North Carolina, it must have seemed like nothing to her.

I never had time to talk about any of this with her. By July 4th, she was dead. While I grieved, on 20 July the Aurora, Colorado cinema mass shooting occurred. James Holmes killed 12 people and injured 58 others. 2012 could not end soon enough for me.

But it was far from over. On 29 October, Hurricane Sandy went subtropical and hit every east-coast state from Maine to Florida and went far inland as Superstorm Sandy (which retained hurricane-force winds after New Jersey landfall). It was a major disaster, but more trouble was on the way.

On 14 December in Newtown, Connecticut, at Sandy Hook Elementary School, Adam Lanza shot and killed 20 children and 6 adults. He had earlier killed his mother. He died by his own hand.

2012 was a year none of us can ever, and must never, forget. Too many people lost their lives, some by the weather, some by murder. And it never, ever can make any sense unless we keep trying to learn its lessons. Because so far, we have failed to learn a goddamn thing.

I will never forget 2012. My daughter did not survive the year, and to this day, I cry. I grieve, I hurt.

But I am not alone. There are lots of people who curse that awful year.

An awful, terrible year.

If the United States had started 2012 with any innocence left, then by the time it ended, the last of it was gone.

A Small Thing To Some, More Important To Me: The Difference Between Good And Evil

A reader who recently liked a post uses a symbol. It is a circle with a cross inside.

Top: The cross has all lengths equal, the symbol of white nationalists or supremacists; Bottom: This is the same cross broken to its true meaning. However, this version is oddly also a symbol of elections in India and the squared swastika, before being taken by the Nazi party before WWII, originally went back to many cultures and was always a sign meaning peace and good health, good fortune.
Above: Two Catholic Celtic crosses. Used as early as 9th century; thought to be (by some) as a catholic cross laid atop the sun disc to demonstrate the supreme power of the Christian God over the pagan sun god. In legend, St. Patrick himself, evangelizing in Ireland, did this demonstration to prove this point. Whatever its origin, it is not a pagan cross. The arms, head and foot of the cross extend well beyond the circle, the bottom always longer than the rest, and in both Ireland and England is often engraved with the Irish lace pattern. This is unmistakable as a Christian symbol and is popular around the world.

If you use the top symbols, be aware of what they mean and please change your icon, header image or anything else used to identify your site, your social media image and anything you have used it for. This is not the time for controversial things that will only make matters worse.

If you hide behind Chist as a justification for racial and gender hatred or discrimination, please have the common decency to show yourself. Betcha you won’t. You’re probably even using a VPN. The government of the United States and other countries can find you. You’ll be added to a database of known terrorist organizations. You will not like it.

Every keyword in their DBase will see every word you write.

In your defense, may I suggest you pay attention to my posts and follow what I have been and what I am now. Not hateful. No. Not bitter. Fewer regrets. Far less shame and the strongest faith in God I have ever known. Turn to God, apologize for your past actions, believe that you’re one of the many whose sins were paid for on the cross outside of Jerusalem two millenia past. Let that man, Jesus the resurrect, be your new guide to what’s right.

in nomine patris et filii et spiritus sancti amen

Rise of the Barbarians, Downfall of Humanity

Caution: the following post contains mature and disturbing subject matter and may trigger certain individuals. Please proceed with care.

Kings County Hospital

Brooklyn, NY

July 31, 1977

People thought it was safe. He had never struck in Brooklyn.

But it wasn’t safe.

The nurse can’t exactly describe what she felt that night. She recalls reporters snapping pictures of the victim being taken from the ambulance and feeling anger. She looks back and knows they had scanners or police radios, and that’s how they knew where to be. But that doesn’t help. The pictures taken still exist, and that’s sickening.

The nurse had heard that the victims were coming in: the .44 Caliber Killer was feared to have struck again.

Two victims, one male, one female, both 20-years-old, had head wounds. The emergency room went into overdrive; the trauma center geared up.

The nurse knew the young woman was going to die. Two huge slugs through the brain. The shock caused one eye to become partially extruded. The slugs had wrought profound damage, easily visible: severe blood loss and swelling, or edema. The nurse was looking at a corpse with its heart still beating.

No matter what, the surgeons tried to save her. Even when it won’t work, they try. The only exception to the head wound rule comes after a firefight. Medics in the field mark the casualty “expectant” and handle as well as medevac those who can be saved first. It sounds cold, but lives get saved, the ones who can be saved, as opposed to sacrificing one for a soldier who is basically already gone. Forget pulse and respiration; they stopped being who they were when the round from an AK-47 turned their brain into gray bits mixed with blood.

But for 36 hours, doctors worked on the woman. She was in ICU and the OR several times.

The young nurse went home and told her mother it wasn’t good. To this day she knew that she had worked on a dying woman. The time finally came for doctors to call time of death: 17:22 EDT.

The couple, Stacy Moskowitz and Robert Violante, had been parked in a Brooklyn lover’s lane. It was their first date. Those situations were how the .44 Caliber Killer always struck. Couples parked, bothering no one, hearts full of the pangs of love. And now he had done so in Brooklyn.

Between the summers of 1976 and 1977, but actually beginning in late 1975, the killer had terrorized all of New York City. Police were taunted by letters from him and by August 1977, he knew exactly where to go to avoid a 300-man task force and their dragnet. And he had just targeted his first blonde-haired woman. Not his M.O., but it shows that he intended to keep killing. He was never going to stop.

They turned out to be the final victims of serial killer David Berkowitz, a k.a. the .44 Caliber Killer. Best known as: Son of Sam.

He was captured by police a short time later and said, as if it meant nothing, “Well, you got me.”

He was confined to Kings County Hospital for psychiatric observation. The Nurse was there when they brought him in. She was watching through the glass, concealed but able to see and hear.

Her first sight of him made her blood run cold. What she cannot forget is the smirk he wore on his face: here was pure evil encased in a human body. He was deemed competent to stand trial three times. He was tried, convicted of second degree murder and attempted second degree murder. He pleaded guilty. The sentence: 25 to life.

The smirking Son of Sam

He did time in Attica and Sing Sing.

He survived a murder attempt. Then he became an evangelical Christian. He cannot use a computer but other evangelicals maintain a website for him. Why, I don’t know. He’s been the subject of documentaries and has been allowed interviews. He gets no royalties but has published. He is not being punished. He is being coddled.

The injustice of it sickens me.

In Baltimore there’s a history of prosecutors refusing to try violent perpetrators. Guns are an even bigger problem now than ever. Street violence is a plague, an epidemic. There’s little you or I can do about it. Until mayors and prosecutors do their jobs, the police won’t do theirs. And when things are that bad, chaos and death rule every day.

While serial-and-mass murderers get headlines decades after either being killed, caught or escaping, it is the everyman or everywoman most at risk from gun crimes. And we do nothing but make videos, watch the news while we eat dinner and we don’t even belch.

I used to see very graphic footage on local news channels. The anchors would warn that it could be disturbing. Instead it numbed a nation of barbarians. People didn’t care.

***

The Rise of the Barbarians did not begin with the Son of Sam. Nor with the “Manson Family”. It cannot be pinned to any date, any place. Certainly not with any one person. We can trace certain things through Ancestry and written history, but we can only go so far with either. All we can do is pin certain places to certain times and notable people.

When Europe first began sending immigrants to “America”, they were not sending their best people. They were sending rapists and murderers. The settlement of an already occupied land turned the very soil red with blood. The world has never been the same.

Being aware of Ancient Greece and Egypt, Babylon, Assyria and Asian nations, mostly loosely associated with allies but always at war, we cannot claim that North America is the beginning of Barbarians. But we certainly have followed their path. I have roots in Belgium, Germany, England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland. There were ancestors on the Maflower. Daniel Boone was my 6th great uncle. Some later fought for both sides in the Civil War. Some fought in just about every war the United States has waged. Relatives fought the British in the Revolutionary War while others fought in red coats. Same as the War of 1812. None of this makes any sense to me. It should not make any sense to anyone.

History is not pretty. While videos like documentaries are sometimes good, most are laden with traps like conspiracy theories and outright misinformation.

But never in history have we been more barbaric than we are right now. You can try to point to something particular in history; an event that changed everything, like August 6, 1945, the single bomb that shook the world. You’d have a valid point. But not the only one. You can argue, but then you would be using a narrow view. History does not tolerate that.

No one really knows who developed the first war ships. By the time of the Peloponnesian War, the Athenians had a fearsome fleet. Sparta may have won, but the seas ran red. It was costly. Egypt fought many wars and conquered part of the western Middle East. By the time of the reign of Cleopatra, the pyramids were already ruins. Rome invaded and the once mighty Egypt was occupied, as had been Greece. Rome, like Egypt and Greece, inherited and improved weapons and war tactics. To see legions marching toward you was to know true fear. The Spanish decimated Central America. Warfare was constantly being refined and improved upon. Killing was what fed the people.

By the middle ages armor and weapons had not progressed much. Swords, spears, halberds, shields and bows had been strengthened and catapults refined as trebuchets which when aligned in groups were terrifying. The castle became obsolete, but Alexander the Great had already defeated many fixed fortifications with siege towers. Now, armies could lay waste from a distance. That’s as far as the progress went. Until gunpowder.

It wasn’t until World War I that true mass butchery with artillery, machine guns, and mustard gas was possible. Death by the numbers. Shelling drove men mad. The old saying “Never light three on a match” was said because by the time three cigarettes were lit, nighttime snipers had acquired a target. Either rifle or machine gun fire would tear through them and anyone close.

The saying became a superstition popularized just after the war ended. Some believe it came from World War Two but the superstition was already well known.

The bloody war taught nobody anything. The Treaty of Versailles was so hard on Germany that Hitler took it as an excuse to build the military in violation of it. Every part of that Treaty was adhered to, like dead tonnage in naval vessels, by the west. Not Germany. The slow speeds and thin armor of new ships off the line and the restriction that caused obsolete ships to remain in service, not to mention aircraft, made Pearl Harbor possible. It also indirectly led to unnecessary casualties by the Allies in the first years of the war in Europe and the Pacific.

Even by the Battle of Midway, torpedo bombers, the TBD-1 Devastator, were shot out of the sky. They were slow, easy targets. Even if one got through the screen of Japanese fighter planes and anti-aircraft fire, the torpedoes rarely even exploded.

So the Allies learned very quickly to adapt. By war’s end, the United States had the most fearsome navy the world had ever seen. So many fast carriers were without a job that they were mothballed. Heavy carriers were still being scrapped in the 1990s. I actually saw the mighty USS Bunker Hill being taken apart. Every day, the hulk got smaller until I could not even see it. She was a big part of the war in the Pacific. She was also my favorite.

But the atomic age rendered her useless.

That doesn’t mean we are any less barbaric. Now we have huge carriers able to launch planes that can refuel in the air and fire missiles with a range of miles or bomb a target with incredible precision. Helicopter rescuers are able to save pilots who had to eject over water. In World War Two and Korea that was rare.

***

It is a clear picture of barbarism that as Russians pulled back to Kyiv, they left evidence behind that shocked the world. Bodies of women and children and non-combatants lay in the streets. Some shot, others garotted, some strangled by bare hands. I don’t need to read that women were raped first. I know.

Russia’s attack and invasion of Ukraine has been condemned around the world. But the people of Ukraine fight alone. Sanctions against Russia are a pitiful response and everyone believes that anything more will start World War Three. It may. Reports have it that Putin is isolated, his leaders afraid to tell him anything. That he is also unstable.

No matter how that war ends, it won’t be the last. No matter how we restrict gun sales, the killing will not stop. Police are afraid to do their jobs. They walk a beat or get out of a cruiser and things are thrown at them. Cell phone cameras do not show provocation but instead the users wait desperately to catch them doing anything wrong. Some neighborhoods can’t get an emergency response because the police are targets and can’t go in without lots of backup. The news will not report this. Yet it happens to be more true every day. If I were 18, the last choice I would make for a career is law enforcement.

Law and order are being taken from us. Violence rules the streets, with gangs everywhere. Republicans don’t prosecute their own.

Otherwise, people treat each other with diminishing respect. We’ve become hardened; numb and suspicious.

When the Roman Empire used the noun “barbarians” it simply meant people other than Roman citizens. Today it means people who are not civilized or are evil. People like Son of Sam. The Sandy Hook shooter. The Parkland shooter. The Vegas sniper.

People like evangelical, rich preachers are evil. They lead the masses to falsely believe that tithing will prompt God to help them get rich. It won’t; you have to be a sociopathic scammer for that. Murders, wars and thievery in God’s name is an abomination. Period.

We are killers, pedophiles and rapists, drug dealers and pimps, pirates, scammers, liars; barbarians.

Imagine breaking a bone and not having insurance, or inadequate plans. The bills will bury you. Now picture needing surgery to pin bones back together. You’re going to be hounded by nasty phone calls and bills that keep on coming. Then they ruin your credit score.

That’s not even the worst of it. Imagine now that you’re sent home without a prescription for pain, that the doctor tells you to take Advil. It takes 8 weeks, sometimes longer, for a break to mend. That’s if you’re not diabetic. Then who knows when it will stop hurting. Imagine watching a relative suffering from cancer with no narcotics. They’re going to die and the doctor won’t prescribe a pain killer because “those are addictive“!

You ever heard a gunshot victim screaming in pain? Once you do, you will never forget it. Ever seen someone gut-shot, their intestines all over the ground? If they’re lucky they pass out. Multiple surgeries follow, a colostomy, perhaps permanent. Always in pain. How about a spinal injury? Even a compressed disk is excruciating and no bones are even broken. Your every move hurts. They send you home with muscle relaxers so weak that you can’t feel any relief and that does not even treat the real problem.

The “opiod crisis” never existed. People who overdosed mixed meds or also drank died. It wasn’t suicide. It was accidental most of the time; pain can be so intense that one can forget a dose was taken or else be desperate.

The main advantage of opiates for pain is that if you are in very severe pain, taking it on schedule can prevent it from getting too intense. Once it’s at that point, your medicine isn’t as effective. But enough about that. Let’s talk progressive and liberal politicians. While arguing for better Healthcare they bitched about opiates. You see the problem? I contacted my representative. I’ve called out politicians and activists on Twitter. Friends have shared the link to my petition on Facebook and Instagram. It is not going well. My tweet about losing my son went to 50,800 likes, and now comments are being deleted. I get more likes every day, more people share horror stories and no one I’ve tagged has even bothered to respond. Not even activists. The likes topped off at 50.8k likes. I don’t think Twitter likes it at all. I took attention away from the war, the pandemic and Will Smith.

But this part of our existence is the final proof. We are barbarians. We’re going backwards and nobody notices. They believe politicians and documentaries over science and human rights. In an age when we can treat pain we are refused treatment.

If that surprises you, look at the shameful way children are abused and neglected with abusers rarely being held accountable.

Doctor Pedo

A pediatrician in Delaware used to insist that infants and toddlers be seen without the parents present. He was raping them. How any parent ever allowed this unsupervised doctor to treat their children is beyond me but he wasn’t questioned and it went on for a long time. One father said, “I was in the waiting room reading People Magazine while he was raping my daughter.” He lamented that he wasn’t much of a father.

I have to agree with him there. Doctor Earl Bradley was not a child molester. He was a serial child rapist. I’m going to give you a link. But be warned: it is graphic, horrible and will trigger people.

Dr. Earl Bradley sentenced to life without parole

You see a picture of a man whose looks betray the monster within. Filthy, disheveled, offensive.

I use this article after reading and being much more than triggered. But take note here, and make no mistake: other doctors knew. They said nothing to authorities and joked about him at cocktail parties. They made jokes! The first detective who worked a case involving him was told by the Attorney General that he couldn’t do anything. Investigation stopped there. The rapes continued while victims’ parents tried to warn others away. They were called liars and nuts. Once you read how he got caught and convicted, you will come away wondering how often this happens. The article claims child abuse by doctors is rare. Well, it isn’t. The victims are traumatized and cannot articulate what happened. Sex abuse and rape is more common to adults. So they claim. I contend that nobody can know that for certain and the claim is invalid. This animal got away with his crimes for years.

The one thing you must take from this is who the victims are, and the list of more potential victims keeps growing. In Florida, banning any mention in schools about the LGBTQ community is a setting for death. It means nutty anti-LGBTQ haters can declare open season amongst themselves. In Ohio, as Ohio does, the same law is being taken up. In Oklahoma all abortions are now illegal, with no exceptions save for the mother’s life being in danger. Doctors can get ten years, pay a 100,000 dollar fine and lose their medical license. Oklahoma is a poor state. Most red states are. If a woman is raped she can’t even get a morning after pill. The poor cannot travel out of state and still afford medical procedures. If you agree that we are a nation of barbarians, stand by. Much worse will follow. The hatred of women is out of its cage. It can’t be reined in. Not that there really was a cage; now though, it’s going to be everywhere, more open and much more lethal.

You see how Republicans stick together no matter what. You see that they want a swastika flying at the White House. You see how doctors cover for each other. They will not counter another doctor’s refusal to give pain meds to those who clearly need it. They tell you “your pain is all in your mind” and they can’t get rid of your file fast enough and move on to someone else. Cookie cutter healthcare with sadism from top to bottom.

You can say whatever you like. When the time comes, and it’s your turn to hurt, what will you do? Pain brings the toughest and most stubborn to their knees in tears. I’ve seen it.

***

The nurse remembers one more thing from the night Stacy Moskowitz was brought to Kings County Hospital. The mother.

Mrs. Moskowitz was heartbreaking to see. The nurse will never forget the wailing and plaintive words she screamed. She was the last true victim of Son of Sam. She never recovered.

I want to fight for women’s rights. For LGBTQ rights and protection. But I had to start somewhere. One thing at a time. So my petition at change.org is for doctors to treat pain properly. To be a patient and expect to be treated properly. Many can be saved. Pain or suicide is a sadistic choice to give anyone. We need the people to rejoin society and we have no right keeping them from it.

Sign this, and give me–give us–hope.

https://chng.it/2zjLYVYm

The Vigilantes of Skidmore

One night in 1982 I watched a segment on the TV show 60 Minutes and never forgot it. In the town of Skidmore Missouri, while sitting in his pickup truck, the town’s nightmare, a bully by the name of Ken Rex McElroy, was shot to death.

During the segment I never once had any shred of sympathy for him.

Here is that segment.

https://youtu.be/7SWSGV3Xr3M

Years passed. I never forgot that segment, done by my favorite correspondent, Morley Safer, one of the most intelligent, charming yet daring news reporters I had ever had the pleasure to watch. In the story above, it seems he was blatant about asserting McElroy’s death was a justified crime. But watch closely and it’s clear that he talked to people who wouldn’t go on record; he was no one to be superficial in his job.

Then, in 1992, I met one of McElroy’s relatives while working retail. She was a new hire, and for some reason I one night happened to mention the story. That’s when I learned that she was related to him, and I can’t remember the exact familial relationship, but she told me that my ideas about his death were justified.

I knew she was telling the truth. He was the reason she had moved as far away from Missouri as she could, the Eastern coast of the United States. Oh, he was long dead, but people remained who were brainwashed by the bully (clearly his wife and attorney were) and she had to get away from the situation. (1)

It’s hardly insignificant that his wife, a witness, either failed to identify McElroy’s killers, or, if she had, nothing came of it, and that in this report, her chance to go nationwide with names, she still didn’t do it.

There’s an active link about the town that got away with murder everywhere I look now, down amongst the click bait below news stories. I haven’t bothered.

Because there are only two reasons to keep this story alive: politics on the right, and politics on the left, in a deepening polarizing of the country and its issues.

The woman told me that there was much more to the complex reign of terror and the man who claimed the right to run it than anyone else in the country could know. She herself had been terrified of him, and would not go into detail except to mention that she was young. The fact did not escape me. Anyone who can terrorize children, know that they are doing it and even face charges but show no remorse, especially after beating the rap, is a serious threat to society. (2)

Police arrived that July afternoon to find the streets empty, and Ken Rex McElroy dead. At least two shooters were involved. Probably still others were there with firearms. McElroy had pushed people beyond the limits of the human brain, a place where it says, no more, and something visceral and primeval takes over. There’s no reason to believe any other motive. Anyone who has been relentlessly bullied can reach this point and will strike back with calculating lethality. This is basic human nature.

But Ken Rex McElroy was not killed because he was a bully. He was an established criminal who shot a man and didn’t intend for him to live through it. He’d fired at a pastor. Molested a child. Shot random animals and stolen others and the justice system utterly failed the people. He needed to go. Even though his wife won’t say a word against him, she too carried weapons to help him threaten a man’s life.

Was it justified? Can vigilantism ever be condoned?

I ask one question: how many people would he have gone on to hurt, traumatize or even kill? He was about to get another slap on the wrist when he died. That slap would undoubtedly have empowered the man. It’s a court, writing a blank check, to a known menace. It happens every day, across the country, always has. How many have died because of it? How many are yet to?

I do not approve of vigilante justice. Murder is a crime against God, man and nature. One doesn’t need to ask their higher power anything; it’s wrong.

Still, I cannot help feeling that at a time in history, destiny caught up to Ken Rex McElroy, and he got what he deserved, but more than that, his death served the greater good.

Even his family said it was so.

Notes

(1) Defense attorneys are forbidden to betray a client. Even if they know the client is guilty they can never divulge such a thing.

(2) A child abuser is almost always a sociopath, able to intellectually differentiate between right and wrong, but incapable of feeling guilty. As such, sociopaths are, under the wrong conditions, a severe danger to society. They will repeat offend until the day they die.

King Solomon’s Mines

You must read this extraordinary article from Smithsonian because it is truly fascinating and is about the discovery that copper mines once attributed to the biblical time frame of King Solomon have been found to be much older.

At about 1000-9000 BCE, the site predates the mighty republic of Rome, nestled between a time of Egyptian influence and might and its resurrection to fame much later under the Ptolemies. A large gap, to be sure. “Atika” is mentioned as an example of how far away copper was traded. Even the Temple of Zeus at Olympos (where history calls the statue within “one of the wonders of the ancient world”, in a city where the first Olympic Games would be held) had copper in some of the decorative parts of the temple, from this site.

Yet at the site of the mines no evidence of a city or even a village has been found. The conclusion was made that carbon-14 dating proved that the site predated Solomon and was operated by the Edomites, nomadic tent-dwellers who left little evidence of their presence. Or, more specifically, evidence of their identity. Authors and scribes wrote from positions of power, and often that has meant inaccuracies in the Bible.

For example, the article points out, the Bible has editions that describe the Israelites being overjoyed at the dedication of their new temple built by Solomon, going to their “homes” after the dedication was over, but the actual translation says they returned to their tents.

There was no city, as we define them in any era, of Jerusalem. Not yet.

Whether King David existed, followed by Solomon, is a matter debated endlessly. But it is impossible that, if these findings, and the tent city really existed around the temple built after David’s time, that David ever saw Bsthseba bathing on her rooftop.

I’ve always been aware the it was men who wrote the many “books” of the Canon, and that men had agendas. Most of the mistranslations were deliberate, centuries after the writing, after the authors were long before buried. The questions have never been answered to any conclusive result: was David a real person? Solomon, was he a character in a story?

The article cites fiction in book and film as fantasy without historical content; King Solomon’s Mines. Alan Quartermain, precursor to Indiana Jones, finds a cavern full of diamonds and gold. Indeed, Quartermain was too cool for a character of historical fiction, and was played by Sean Connery in the unwatchable film The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Time to let our friend Alan Quartermain rest in peace, I guess.

In the long run, I find that, no, we cannot rely on the Bible for historical accuracy in many passages. Does that mean, though, that the Abrahamic religions are without truth or value?

Certainly not. Faith is believing in anything that is a challenge to believe whilst others seek to prove you a fool.

Faith is important because, as this article clearly shows, we just don’t know everything. Sometimes, it’s what we don’t know that matters most. History is a strange thing. Written by the victors of ancient wars, left behind in artifacts in barren places, I prefer to simply say, I only know one thing: that is that I can’t know everything, and I may not know anything at all.

September Eleventh, Two Thousand One: The Date Which Will Live Forever In Infamy

A few minutes after midnight. Perhaps the last night that summer that wasn’t frigid. The last night I remember being a regular asshole.

A regular asshole? You mean you don’t know what the term means? Of course you do. A regular asshole is a man who has less regard for the feelings of others than most others might, but who can still fake it well enough to work a job and have a few people who aren’t out to kill him.

A regular asshole is not easy to spot. But spend enough time with one, and no matter how slow on the uptake you are because you believe people are inherently good, you’re gonna end up despising the fucker.

And maybe find that you aren’t alone.

Don’t feel bad about it. Human nature has a few things that limit one’s patience. Assholes are among them.

For one thing, nobody is born an asshole. There’s no genetic evidence of that. It is up to an individual and his environment to make the asshole what he is. In that manner I suppose I have come to it honestly. Therefore, I own it. To deny one’s identity is to tell oneself a lie. Those kinds of lies cannot stand; the ego never forgets. It’s a violation of nature.

Previously, I wrote about living with a woman who kicked me out and then calmly went to work. I super glued her keyholes and insured that she wasn’t going to be spending the night within the comforts of her hovel.

I had no place to go so I called my ex and asked her if she had a room she would be able to spare for rent. It would be short-term because I had a good job and just needed time to find a place. That was July, 2001.

I was still there in September. In the mean time, my daughter moved her new boyfriend in. Tony was not a regular asshole. He was a turbocharged asshole. In this time he had friends of his in and out. They hung out and smoked crack and drank the cheapest rotgut brandy I’d ever heard tell of. Oh, I didn’t sample it. My tastes were not so jaded. I drank Absolut vodka and good rum, whiskey and aged cognac. Later, I would compromise my restrictions and drink a Baltimore brand of vodka that came in a plastic bottle. The shame of it is unbearable.

But Tony became so wild and volatile that my ex put their shit on the porch and locked them out. And that brings us to just after midnight on September Eleventh, when they showed back up.

At first, Tony remained outside. Beth came in and found her mother in the kitchen. I watched the front door in the living room when the fight in the kitchen started. My ex took zero shit. That night was no exception. Whatever Beth wanted was out of bounds. I could hear it when they hit the floor and Beth made a dramatic scream as if dying, and I knew Tony would come running. It was a signal. He came through the storm door at full steam and I warned him off. He kept coming. I ran forward and tackled him high, throwing him into a glass table where I came down on top of him and began to strangle him to death.

He reached up feebly, trying to do the same to me. Then everything went black, just like a fucking novel or movie.

The strangest thing happened: when I became conscious, or aware, I’ve never been sure which, I was standing over the dining room table, leaning on it and looking down at a pool of blood. My blood. Coming from my mouth. Courtesy of a baseball bat wielded by my daughter to save her boyfriend.

Police and paramedics were called. My daughter and Tony had fled. The medics looked at my wounds and said I should go with them. But if I did, I feared that with my ex’s husband at work, they might come back. My ex and my son would have been at a serious disadvantage. I couldn’t go. Still bleeding, I went back inside. I laid down on the sofa, dizzy, and passed out.

Morning

September Eleventh

I came to with the sun shining through the window. I had dried blood on my face where it flowed until the bleeding had stopped. It was fortunate that I hadn’t choked to death. I guess at some point I did choke and turned my head enough to keep from swallowing the blood. But I felt the pain in a distant sort of way, as if it didn’t matter. I wasn’t worried about my daughter nor was I angry anymore; the night’s passing had given way to something I felt, something terrible, a feeling I’d never known in such intensity.

Something was wrong. I turned on the TV without knowing why. With my ex’s husband home now, I was free to go to the hospital. But first, something compelled me to turn on the TV. I needed MSNBC, and why that channel came to mind is beyond me; I’d never watched it.

The picture showed some sort of highrise on fire. I’d seen from the TV Guide that sometimes the channel showed retro news. I thought back. There had been a fire at a tall building where seniors lived and that was what I thought I was seeing.

But the camera changed to another. Dear God, it was one of the twin towers! “Reports say a light plane…”

As I watched, an airliner made what looked like a banked turn. It hit the other tower and a huge fireball bloomed on the screen. I was horrified but shock was quickly setting in. I don’t remember how long it took, but there came a report that the Pentagon had also been hit. Then came the last one, an airliner had crashed in Pennsylvania. In a field. No immediate speculation why, but never mind; I was seeing people at the twin towers jumping to their deaths from shattered windows through which columns of thick smoke streamed. I was so horrified that I was seeing a terrorist attack and its aftermath that all thoughts of the hospital were a million miles away.

As police and firefighters scrambled, I had no idea that it could get worse. Nothing could be worse than what I’d already seen, or what I was seeing now.

As we approach the twentieth anniversary of that infamous day, we reflect, as we do every year, on what, that we may comprehend, happened that day. We spend less time, as the years pass by, with the hundreds of conspiracy theories that came from it, and more time realizing that we are still in shock.

That no matter where we were, we were traumatized and nothing since has made sense.

For a while, powerful beams of light reached from the ground to the sky. Like ghosts of the towers, they were not there to comfort. They were there so we could mourn. Many of us have never stopped. That would be asking far too much.

To anyone watching TV coverage, who felt helpless and in torment, there was no way to truly grasp what it was like to be there. Nor can there ever be. I’ve interviewed a few of them. Most of it is a jumble and does not bear repeating. That’s not their fault; to be that traumatized is a feeling I know well by different causes. Thoughts mix together like ingredients in a blender. Things come out of mouth that make no sense. The tone of voice gains a faraway quality that is haunting.

Reality and pain slowly returned. I decided to go to the ER after all. It would be a welcome distraction.

I drove south on Business Route 3, Crain Highway. I was headed for what then was called North Arundel Hospital. As I drove, a passenger jet flew very low over the road and I had a minute of panic. I’ve never boarded nor looked at an airplane the same since. I’m always tense and terrified. I’ll never fly again.

While waiting to be seen in a treatment room, I heard the ER staff talking. Something had happened as they watched a TV in another, empty room. Mine had no TV. “I can’t believe it just fell,” said a nurse.

By the time I got back from the hospital, both towers were down.

Brooklyn

From the beginning, a nurse had seen from across the river every bit of what had happened. From that distance, she was shocked that aircraft parts and business papers rained down on her neighborhood. Body parts, too.

What’s most unforgettable is the loudness of the explosions and the stench. A veteran nurse, she had seen and done everything. A stint in mental illness wards (she was on duty at King’s County Hospital the night they brought serial killer Son of Sam in), pediatrics, even trauma. But nothing was close to this; she had never encountered the rain of flesh and metal her neighborhood was hit by. The stench remained for months. There was no forgetting that.

She spent part of that day in Manhattan at an aid station. The ash underfoot ate through her shoes. They mostly handed out bottles of water. No casualties showed up. Those were dead.

She remembers a tiny church nestled in the higher buildings and how it survived intact. A devout Catholic, to her that was a sign. As firefighters used it to shelter and rest, the little church was a tiny reminder to her that God knew what was going on. That his promise to never abandon his children was not forgotten.

That day also saw violence against muslims, more in the days that followed. They didn’t deserve it, and the nurse knew it. Bodega torching and mass beatings in the streets by enraged people of non Islamic faith turned their fury on the innocent.

It never occurred to some that Muslim people were right there, giving away and buying bottles of water. It never crossed their minds that they had shopped at the bodegas for years and knew the owners to be kind and generous folks who went out of their way to help. None of that mattered. At least some owners gave up. They left the way of life they had known, sometimes for generations, and went back to the lands of their fathers.

Manhattan

The dust and ash had chased people right down the streets as they ran from the dense clouds following the collapse of the buildings. Absolute shock was depicted clearly as cameras caught them losing their bearings, walking blind. Store owners quickly opened their doors and grabbed people, pulling them to shelter, giving them water. The gesture seemed small given what was happening. The enormity of it all made simple gestures seem small, but that’s how New Yorkers are; they don’t give up even when facing long odds. Small things matter in the Big Apple.

Foot traffic jammed the Brooklyn Bridge. Nobody knew where they were going. They just had to leave Manhattan.

At Ground Zero, what has come to be known as “the Pile” was about to be assaulted by firefighters searching for survivors. There was hope and an urgency. But nobody would come out of the Pile. Some were so far underground that even if they lived following the twin towers falling, they didn’t last long. Mostly they had been dead since the buildings began to fall. There wasn’t much left of them.

Finally the Pile was abandoned. Left for an endless chain of trucks to haul away. Parts of bodies that were too small to pick out went with them.

There were weeks of continuing news coverage. TV went all news except for premium channels and entertainment channels. Late night shows weren’t on, replaced by repetitive news stories. The planes crashed over and over again. The people ran through the streets over and over.

Finally, days later, it was decided that we needed to force or fake it, but which did not matter; a return to normalcy was required. David Letterman opened his first show without the theme music and introduction. Not standing up to do a monologue, he was instead seated at his desk. What followed was magic.

https://youtu.be/XZeEdye0h9A

What more could he or anyone have said?

But American people aren’t good at just mourning and letting go of the sins against them. They get downright nasty. And if the offense is grave enough, the bloodletting will commence shortly. Count on it.

But I didn’t want war. I didn’t want revenge. Both come at a price never considered before either commence. A price to be paid in blood and terror. If I could not be there to fight, I knew I would never understand what was about to happen. As a soldier, you swear an oath. That’s not a mere prerequisite to service; it literally means that you are willing to kill or to be killed in the service of the country.

As divided as we are, it is not easy to admit anything we all have in common: a love for the United States that is unfailing. Officially one’s oath is null upon discharge from the service. But you never think of it that way. You’ll always feel compelled to salute the Colors when you see them. Everyone is “sir” or “ma’am” and you’ll never grow used to hearing Taps because it means two things, soldiers going to sleep or soldiers already sleeping, sleeping forever under a stone.

You hope that your chain of command will respect your commitment. That they will never send you in harm’s way without a definite mission and a righteous cause. If those two things are in place, any soldier will willingly go forth to kick ass.

We never had both of those requirements in either Iraq or Afghanistan. First was Afghanistan. We had intel that Al Qaeda was there, that bin Laden was there, but he wasn’t found. We modified ordnance for planes to drop into caves. They were so big that on detonation they’d suck all the breathing air out of an entire section of cave. We sent tanks, hummers with turret-mounted grenade guns that fired rounds as fast as machine guns. Then it seemed like we had a purpose. But after declaring the Taliban dead, we stayed.

***

Marines in the desert outpost of one sector were thirsty. A pile of bottled water was dumped into their midst and they drank, drank more, pissed, and then drank more. Some dumbass lieutenant ordered them to stop. He said the water wasn’t safe because it was irradiated. They could, he said, wind up sterile. Water is irradiated to make it safe to drink. It’s a method of purification.

One day when a squad was definitely not on the high ground, they heard noises above them. Having learned the hard way that the situation was dangerous, they backed away and called the coordinates in.

Air strike, Arty barrage, it never mattered. The Marines quickly moved in and found what was left of two little girls and their bicycles. That sight was burned onto their retinas.

Marines are, as a rule, extremely well trained and tough. But being responsible for the deaths of those girls was hard to take.

A couple of them said, “Fuck em, we can’t take chances in a situation like that.”

Others, very troubled, kept their mouths shut. Later they would pay for doing so.

They rotated home. Some were discharged. And went home with a burden they eventually found was impossible to live with. They died by their own hands.

It left grieving families wondering what happened to make such a desperate act so inevitable. It was so final, so shocking. They had never let on that anything serious was wrong. Yet there still came that day when the grave had to be filled and Taps had to be blown.

There were viewing services, sometimes with the lids closed on the coffins because TV never shows what really happens when you murder yourself with a gun in your mouth.

By the time some rotated back to the States, the war in Iraq had begun and they were sent to that combat theater. On evidence that proved wholly unreliable, and pushed hard on the Bush administration, we invaded Iraq beginning on 20 March, 2003. Intel had it that Sadam Hussein was working with the terrorists who had planned the 9/11 attacks. And that, against United Nations rules, he had manufactured weapons of mass destruction. It wasn’t proven, but thousands of soldiers would die there along with millions of civilians. Hussein was hanged for crimes no one remembers.

That should have been it but it was not; many troops of the coalition left and insurgent forces of various groups poured over the border from Iran. The Islamic State of Iraw and the Levant, or ISIL, and more came with a bounty on American and other Coalition troops. It happened again in 2011.

The wars were causing the budget for the military to bulge and recruitment to drop off.

***

Walking in a squad, a Marine was dropped by a sniper one day. It was an immediate kill; a headshot. His buddy was beside him. The fallen Marine’s brain was exposed, some of it thrown to the pavement. The second Marine called for a corpsman. As the rest of the squad put suppressive fire into where they thought the sniper was, the second Marine screamed as he held his dead friend’s head, trying to force the brain fragments back inside his skull. He screamed and screamed, never able afterward to know that time had slowed for him, that the medic did not take too long to respond, or that his friend was dead when he hit the ground. The second Marine went home fucked up in the head, hating the medic.

He knew something was wrong but feared seeking help because other jarheads would shame him for it. He would be considered weak, a non-hacker. He was on his own. He paid for it.

War carries a price nobody should ever take lightly, but they always do. And now, just shy of the twentieth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, we look back at that day. We realize it changed us. We realized that we were not so safe as we imagined ourselves to be. And we learned as every generation before has learned, that flag-covered coffins are too sad a sight to bear. With all our faults and disagreements, we are not left untouched by the deaths of our fallen. And no matter who it is in that box, they met a horrible end and most often suffered before the end came.

Measure wars however you like. Was it worthwhile? Did we fight for and with honor? What did we gain?

And why did we rush so to engage the opposing forces? Was it for others? Did we help them? Are they better off now?

Keep measuring. Use whatever you like as a reference. The total casualties. The torn and bombed buildings. The children going hungry and staring with glassy eyes unfocused. Dead kids lying next to their bicycles, and the death from above that killed them echoing for eternity.

Or just ask yourself this: was the mission accomplished?

If you know that it wasn’t, you should feel as lousy about it as I do.

After September Eleventh of 2001, we wanted revenge. We wanted blood, and there was no such thing as too much.

Did we get it? In the narrowest of ways, yes, we did. We killed the man who ordered the attacks.

He was a hollow victory, reduced to masturbating to porn. All alone, knowing he was wanted, suspecting he might be found. Hoping he wouldn’t be. He was no longer a leader. He was watching people fuck and doing little else.

We killed him. Excellent. What else?

Really, what else did we do for vengeance?

The truth is, ISIL and ISIS and every other Islamic terrorist group are stronger now. The truth is that we are in terrible danger. The truth is that bin Laden’s death means nothing. It wasn’t even worth it. Who did his death return to us from the grave?

He didn’t matter anymore. But we sure did get him, didn’t we?

And men and women are here now, suffering from trauma, missing limbs, disfigured and suicidal.

And the Twin Towers are gone. And all those whom we lost on that horrible day twenty years ago are still gone. We will never stop mourning for them. The date lives on in infamy. It always will.

I can’t get the sight of those towers burning out of my head. The people jumping. I can’t forget. A generation has grown up since that day. They didn’t see it.

They don’t get just how lucky they are.

It’s Amazing How Creative And Inventive People Are…Bra History: How A War Shortage Reshaped Modern Shapewear : NPR

I often find myself amazed at our history. Look at the wondrous things we’ve invented, built, or crafted.

It is sobering to think that the everyday things we take for granted are part of billion-dollar industries yet their origins were very interesting, but rather humble. Everyday people invented them. I often become offended when people claim we could never invent or build something without extraterrestrial technology or influence. Two handkerchiefs and a piece of ribbon…what could you invent with only that?

I’ll bet you can make anything you want to.

https://www.npr.org/2014/08/05/337860700/bra-history-how-a-war-shortage-reshaped-modern-shapewear#:~:text=Caresse%20Crosby%20patented%20the%20first,%22%20%E2%80%94%20poked%20through%20her%20gown.