Today I made a New Friend

Some of you who have followed me for a while know that I overreact and overthink.

That’s a defense, and sometimes it’s a good one, but there are times when I have cut myself off from people who really meant no harm.

There are misunderstandings.

I’d had misgivings about a neighbor. You can guess why. I even had a false intuition about her.

That’s a shame, because she’s a very neat kid, and when I approached her to ask about something I had jumped to conclusions about, she had no idea what I was talking about. In other words, she had never meant any harm nor insult. She felt bad, I could tell. She said she would be more careful in the future, but that’s not what I want. I was satisfied that she was sincere, and I don’t want her to change. I want her to go about her business as she has been doing. I understand her now.

A man she was with heard her say, “At least there’s some things around here that are nice to look at.” She definitely wasn’t referring to me, but there was enough light for me to see him turn his head, look in my direction to laugh, but that didn’t bother me. What bothered me was that I thought she was talking sarcastically about me.

At first I went inside angry and hurt. Then I cried.

This young woman, beautiful and full of life, well, it mattered what she thought of me. I don’t know why; I just need her to like me. If she doesn’t, I would be very hurt.

With this weighing heavily on my heart, I asked her what had happened and told her that she has the power to hurt me. I told her that she’s special, a really neat kid, and that I adore her. That I’ll always have her back, always be her friend. She kept saying she would watch how she interacted with me and I said, “no, I understand you now. Just be yourself.”

When you have questions about someone don’t sit on it. Ask. Be nice. Show sincerity, open yourself to more hurt. Wear your heart on your sleeve, because that’s not a mark of weakness. It’s a sign that you can’t help but love people. Love makes you vulnerable but also strong. It negates all the hatred, fear and judgement you may otherwise be feeling.

Ask. Don’t stew. Never be afraid to love. Your soul is in danger if you don’t love.

Today I looked up at the blue sky and I thanked God for a wonderful life full of blessings and miracles. The nightmares don’t define me; what I learned from them does. I’ve endured too much. Yet I come away from it thankfully, and I want you to know, I may not be happy, but I’m not unhappy. I’ve been alone for many years now, but rarely ever do I feel lonely. I have too many friends for that.

I swore to God that I would give my life to save another. I will never betray such an oath. Never.

And imagine: I confronted a fear. I’m not too old for that. I came away loving a good kid, and I’m proud to be her friend. And one can never have too many friends.

It was a very good day.

There’s something special about each of you. It’s not something you have to live up to. Just be you. And of my new friend, I say, be young, go places, have fun, be safe, and remember that you are a treasure.

Today, I made a new friend.

I wish I were younger.