This may be funny to us, but I’ve seen Baltimoreans turn beet-red as they speak these words, knowing that the look you’re giving them is full of disgust. This list updates and revises the one I wrote in 2008-2009 or something like that.
First, I’ll give the proper word, and beside that, give you their collective barf-making versions. Hold on to your stomachs, or have a sick-bag handy. Ready? Here we go.
The Word: What They Say
12-Crabs: “Craibs”
11-Sink: “Zinc”
10-Thing: “Think”
9-Wash: “Warsh”
8-Dollar: “Dolglar”
7-Mount: “Mayount”
6-Rinse: “Wrench”
5-Oh: “Eww”
4-Quarter: “Coorder”
3-Pound: “Peeyound”
2-Valentine’s: “Ballantines”
Also, as: “Valentime’s”
1-Baltimore: “Bawlamer”
Overcompensation: “Balteemore”
When you can’t even pronounce the name of the city you live in, you’re pathetic, hopeless wastrels.
You see the sports teams. Beyond, there be darkness, death, and the functionally illiterate. I’m not certain of which is worse.
And they never even change their bed linens. That smell you get hit with on I-95 headed to or from the Fort McHenry Tunnels?
Well, now you know the rest of the story. If you’re lucky, maybe the sewage will be more predominant on the summer breeze.
Happy travels, be safe, and hire an interpreter.
Memoirs of an American Christian 